Saturday, December 06, 2008

You're The Gay

Makes little sense, but follow me. Let's pretend that you have two pretty successful movies under your belt, what appears to be a decent budget, and Jason Statham's ridiculously amazing body. Imagine, now, that you're making an action flick.

Please, for the love of the many gods, why would you write a screenplay where the "action" is of the 80's teen flick variety--steamy make outs in a car and some uninspired car chases? You're telling me that a frickin' fantastic premise (an explosive bracelet that detonates when one strays too far from a car) and an international back drop yields a mediocre action flick? No, this is unacceptable.

This photo doesn't even come close to showing
how cut Statham was in the movie.
If only for the love of lechery, go see The Transporter 3.

Let me return to how insanely serious Jason Statham's retardedly delectable body was. Dude put in some serious work training for this film, and there was hardly a reason for him to display his handiwork. All these things working in your favor and the only memorable portion of the movie is the sidekick chick's accusation that "[Statham's] the gay"? I simply don't get it.

Nevertheless, I was never not entertained. I kept watching and wasn't bored. I'm just disappointed that a wonderful franchise of The Transporter's ilk ends (?) on such a non committal note.


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