I Love Bad Movies

A revelation after succumbing to Showtime's repeated airings of Twilight (which motivated my subsequent scrambling for the book, but that's something else).

I like compact, formulaic movies that get to the point, are overly earnest or are too on-the-nose. They get that entertainment is sometimes about fulfilling strict expectations in ways that are completely unsubtle.

Some really great bad movies

Death Race (actually, anything with Jason Statham. Many of his movies aren't bad.)

The House Bunny (Anna Faris is hi-larious.)

Halloween III: Season of the Witch (No Michael Myers. No problem.)

Shoot 'Em Up (Was this considered bad? I loved it.)

Double Dragon (It's so colorful, and Mark Dacascos is amazing.)

Teen Witch (Fantastic musical numbers. RIP Zelda Rubenstein.)

Killer Klowns From Outer Space (I think everyone knows I love this movie.)

Alligator People (50's fun)

Black Sheep (Just saw this one recently. It's a horror-comedy in the vein of Dead Alive and Bad Taste about killer sheep in New Zealand. It's like a werewolf movie but with sheep. It's fantastic.)

Nothing But Trouble (C'mon! It has Chevy Chase, John Candy, and Digital Underground!)

House by the Cemetery (Lucio Fulci has to make an appearance. His movies aren't for everybody. You have to appreciate movies with no plot, loose ends, and phantasmagoric gore to enjoy this.)

Femme Fatale (I'm a Brian DePalma fangirl, so yeah, loved it.)

It's ACTING!

H. Jon Benjamin, tremendously talented, always hilarious. I do like this guy. He's voiced some of the greatest animated characters of the past ten years:

-Coach McGuirk, the sloppily lovable drunken soccer coach who dispensed advice and oozed creepiness. One of my favorite red heads.

-Master, Dr. Orpheus's shape-shifting sensai.

-Ben, Dr Katz's lazy but lovable son.

-Satan, Lucy's dad.

-Various hybrid creatures on Aqua Teen Hunger Force.

And no animate-o, but the can of vegetables in Wet, Hot American Summer was pretty hardy har too.

So now he's back with a new project, Archer. Now I saw the premiere way back when the fifth season of Sunny came back, but I wasn't feeling it at all. However, I feel as if I should give the Jon another chance. I mean ... I spent the last six years or so whining about the death of Home Movies. So yeah, Archer, tonight. It's going dooooooooooooooooooooooooooooown.

Teddy/I'm Tired

I'm tired.

The rudeness, overwhelming lack of consideration, pride in stupidity, unwillingness to just shut the fuck up sometimes is making me think I'm on reality television. It seems people honestly do backhanded or inconsiderate shit just because. I can't understand that. Why go out of your way to annoy, hurt, spurn, injure someone? Why not just isolate yourself, keep it inside, scream in a field, or drink the evil away? I hope the people who moved me to want to punch a hole through their heads The Story of Ricky style are curled up in the fetal position sucking their thumbs being flogged by demons right now. That would satisfy the slightly vindictive asshole in me. Cry, BAYBEEE, CRY!!!!!!!

Okay. Enough with that sad sack shit.

Oh, wait. Teddy Pendergrass is in the ether. I ain't got nobody no more. You have no idea how many hours I spent growing up to him. My mom played "Love TKO" til the proverbial wheels fell off. Dude, losing your musical memories so often is exhausting. Peace to his family.

Technology!

i've noticed that i have some followers. that's amazing. let me thank you all for entertaining my attempts at being entertaining.

moving on, my new semi-obsession is home entertainment technology. after snagging an old (free!) laptop from the j-o, i gained some knowledge, fixed it, and decided to trick out my home entertainment options. i bought a router and created a network and am now trying to figure out the best way to stream content from all computers to all televisions in the house.

the easiest way would be to cop (are we noticing all the mid-90s hip hop lingo? word? word.) the new wi-fi vizio. (vizio does mean value and all.) i just bought a new set, have two more months to return it, and the SV422XVT comes out this month. i could just return my set and pay the (very small) difference. it has a QWERTY bluetooth-enabled remote. have you seen it? crazy!


(thanks vizio.com)

of course i could just get an xbox 360 or playstation 3 and use either as a media extender, but i would never ever use them for gaming, so it seems like a waste.

there are other media extension options like the Western Digital TV Live device, which looks pretty sweet, but a cursory look at the reviews reveals unreliable software and a limited interface. plus, there's no netflix and my bedroom tv and computer aren't close enough to connect via cables.

what are my other options? any ideas out there?

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oh, and on the random tip (see!), let me implore you to consider costco, sam's club, or walmart for your hdtv purchases. they all have 90-day return policies and in addition, costco doubles the manufacturer's warranty and offers concierge service.

also, do not buy your hdmi cords in stores. they are ridiculously overpriced there. use monoprice or parts express for all your inexpensive but reliable cables needs. there's also meritline, but i've never ordered from them.

2010

It's limited edition and oh so enjoyable.

I guess I would be amiss if I failed to observe a certain cultural tradition. Actually, I've missed a few, so Happy Thanksgiving, Merry Christmas, and (early on this one) Happy New Year.

Hopefully, you've enjoyed some good holiday programming (the Twilight Zone marathon on SciFi [I refuse to use the new spelling] or the Hitchcock marathon on TCM or the Masterpiece Mystery marathon on WTTW) or are preparing for a joyful night out.

Random fact: There's a full moon tonight. Supposedly, we won't have another on New Year's Eve for at least another 18 years.

Random thought: I finally watched the '05 Bleak House production. It was fantastic.

That's all I got. Make sure there are some black-eyed peas in the house.

Okay.

The Five Greatest Cartoons Ever

1. Daria -- God! I loved this show. It was funny, poked very appropriate fun at the ridiculousness of high schoolers, and kinda perfectly captured that early-90s, "alternative" period that was a big chunk of my adolescence.

Favorite characters: Daria (of course), Trent, Mr. Morgendorffer


2. Home Movies -- One of the most consistently hilarious shows to have ever seen the light of day. Brendon Small and company remain some of the most endearing, ridiculous and memorable characters of all time. To this day, when I hear a character voiced by H. Jon Benjamin, I yell, "Hey, that's Coach McGuirk!" The music was pretty awesome. Also, Shannon is the greatest bully ever.

Favorite characters: Coach McGuirk, Brendon, Shannon, the gentle talk therapist, Walter & Perry. (I pretty much love every character here.)
3. The Venture Bros. -- I'm lamenting the lack of Brock Samson and mourning the loss of 24 on the latest season, but I still carry quite a torch for Rusty Venture and company. Love the whole parody of the superheroes milieu. Just plain funny.

Favorite characters: Brock Samson, Dr. Orpheus, the Monarch


4. Garfield and Friends -- Best theme song ever! (The first one.) Damn good Saturday morning cartooning here. Looking back, I'm surprised at the level of humor. This was a show for kids, but I still crack up thinking about the general wackyness.

Favorite characters: Garfield, Pooky, Binky the Clown


5. Laff-A-Lympics -- Everyone watched Hanna Barbera cartoons. Everyone. And when HB decided to put all their stars together, it got that much more exciting.

Atrack's Movies of the Year (So Far)

Don't go thinking this is some scholarly statement on the cinema. I like popcorn movies for the most part, things that are quickly-paced or fun to watch or just not depressing. I don't see sad movies or Oscar fodder. The last time I accidentally saw one of those meditations on the human experience, I was depressed for a week and had horrible nightmares. No, no way to those. Plus, I don't think it's fair that best of lists are usually dominated by the serious films. Poo poo to that.

In no particular order

1.Drag Me To Hell - Sam Raimi took a break from the super blockbuster and returned to his splatter, horror-comedy roots. Totally worked for me.

2. Coraline - The type of children's story I love--dark, intelligent, and rich. Reminds me of my Roald Dahl-reading days as a youth. The 3-D experience made this one even better. Gorgeous movie. Please see it.

3. The Hangover - Not perfect, but pretty consistently funny if you like dumb-ass humor and slightly offensive shtick. That Galifianakis is a hilarious dude.

4. Taken - Just straight ass kicking. Liam Neeson karate chopped the shit out of people's throats and made good on all sorts of threats. That little daughter could've been a little more grateful.

5. Zombieland - I like zombies and Woody Harrelson. *shrug*


Honorable Mention: I really liked GI Joe, Star Trek, and District 9 too.

Also, I've kinda dropped the ball. I haven't seen Ninja Assassin, 9, The Fantastic Mr. Fox, Where the Wild Things Are, or Moon yet. I'm pretty sure my list will completely change once I catch up.