Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Every Week It's Mystery Meat

I got a Wii and a Wii Fit system for my birthday, and I'm trying.

I don't know, that long period of relaxation I experienced last year, the one with the Hot Doug's orgies and television marathons, padded my areas. And now when I dress for work I look obscene, like I purposefully bought my pants two sizes too small. (I just bit into a Krispee Kreme. It's really good. Focus!)

So I'm trying to lose weight a different way. The gym isn't for me. Too much work--getting there, changing clothes, using machines--as I said, too much work. Instead, I'm going it the Wii route, and I'm fixing my lunch for work, and I'm limiting my midnight snacking.

We'll see.

Thursday, October 08, 2009

Thoughts From a Maxwell Concert

1. Men should NOT encourage their girlfriends to see this man in concert. He's like a shimmying, hormone-inducing cult leader, even when hoarse.

2. The non-work black man uniform: V-neck (in a daring but safe color), button up, trendy jeans, brown square-toed shoes, and Donny Hathaway hat. If said black man is under thirty it's probably just trendy jeans and t-shirt with all kinds of color.

3. There are some seriously unfortunate outfits out there. Ladies, I'm looking at you.

4. Despite my non allegiance to religion, I'm pretty puritanical.

5. GET A ROOM!!!!! The couple next to me kept tonguing each other down and making noises and standing up just so the dude could violently grope the girl's behind. Jesus Christ! I'm trying to watch a concert here!

6. Once upon a time, I really, really loved hip hop. (Thanks, Common, for the reminder, and I understand that you're too mature to do your old stuff.)

7. The amount of chatter between a couple is inversely proportional to how long they've been together.