Sunday, October 15, 2006

greasy, fat meat--an introduction

this is funny, my having a blog and all. some years ago, i had a webpage, but failed to continue updating it because i fell into a depression and am a generally lazy person. it was called "the fruity pork page," which begs the question, "why am i so obsessed with meat?" that's a completely separate discussion, but here i am again, spilling my guts under the guise of extolling the virtues of various meat products. here again because i have recently embarked on the path of real adulthood, and i'm scared shitless. see, on september 5 i began student teaching, which is supposed to prepare me for actual teaching, which will be my vocation until i die in a freak accident or decide that i just can't do it anymore. for once, i'm not just working a job because it's fun and/or easy or because i need money to buy the overpriced and strangely placating consumables that i love so. i'm actually preparing to do something i've worked quite hard for and will be held accountable for, so yeah...i need to blog; and since i really don't have any friends anymore, i figured i'd share with the hollow and acquiescent web universe and strangers who don't know me from adam.

one instantly apparent aspect of teaching involves performance, is performance. when i decided to be a teacher, i never realized how much of the salesman, the court jester, the entertainer i'd have to be on a regular and consistent basis. i'm a moody, obstinate cow; i talk to people when i feel like it (rarely), never answer the phone, and have ruined a number of relationships through simple silence--the consummate performer, the gregarious funambulist i am not. now, though, it is up to me to make the sterile realm of English literature palatable and exciting to a bunch of teenagers. who am i kidding? i was once a teen-aged high school student; i hated it. however, i have put myself in the position to somehow re-write history and make the impossible possible. follow me as i fail (or not) and slowly become the cantankerous she-devil all English high school teachers eventually morph into after years in the system (unless they're male in which case they become he-devils). enjoy!


Chanda said...

Querida, I'm so happy that you decided to start blogging! I will admit that I still occasionally check the good old fruity pork page hoping that a new "weekly rant" would randomly appear. Anyway, as far as the whole performing thing goes...I called you the other night at around 3:00 a.m., because I was watching Flavor of Love. Why? you ask...It's becase you and New York have such similar comedic timing and delivery! It was like watching a less attractive, less classy, more coonish Querida goin' crazy on national t.v.! It was the highlight of my week when I made that connection. Keep up the good work. Kudos!

Monica said...

What's funny is that my sister commented on YOUR blog and not mine...ever. Dude, I'm sure you'll be an awesome teacher. If you aren't, at least you won't smell as bad as Mr. Quoss, who's legendary halitosis followed him all the way to last weekend's nostalgic anecdotes.

atrackbrown said...

chanda, in response to your comment i must say that i'm sure i am offended. i've seen new york in action, and she's quite embarrassing. never mind that you qualified your comment with talk of comedic timing and delivery.

Chanda said...

Querida, I'm so sorry. I honestly don't see any similarities between you and her...she just made me laugh as much as you do, so my train of thought found it's way to you...thus a connection was made in my mind. You are really funny...independent of t.v. characters.
The end.