As some of you may know, I've fallen on some hard times in my quest to do a complete career makeover, and I'm kinda a ward of the State ...

food wise anyway.

As a person on a limited income, I still have a bit of food dignity. I'd like to eat delicious things that actually qualify as food. So today, my one day off from school, I make my food shopping rounds. I hit up the Trader Joe's. I hit up the Pete's Produce. I hit up the Aldi's. I hit up the Whole Foods ... and lose my fucking mind!

Look, I get the whole healthy, organic shit, but really? $23.99 a pound for meat? $9.00 for guacamole, made from the same avocados and tomatoes found anywhere else, that's half the price at Pete's? $7.99 for a small plastic container of chocolate-covered grahams? $30.00 for grocery-store sushi?!!!!

Get the eff outta here.

(On a very weird note, there was a randomly buff seven-year-old in the Whole Foods. Kid, what ARE your secrets? Another thing, almost everyone who works there looks like they were at Pitchfork, clammy, really moist, cut-off shorts, in need of a really good scrubbing. Our particular check-out guy was a snarky, scarfed fella whose style referenced gay San Fran in the 70s.)

Now I see why the befoodstamped fill their carts strictly at Aldi's and Ultra. Trying to feed your family on farm-raised bison steak and organic cherries will have the whole house looking real silly (and hungry) real quick. Ten boxes of Cheerios and random ground meats go a lot further. Lucky for me I'm childless and can afford to pout whilst stuffing my petulant little mouth with Greek yogurt and organic granola.

Man, times is hard.