Feelin Low, Homies

It's winter, which doesn't bode well at all for sustained elation; however, I'm feeling a bit lower than usual. It sucks. (Yes, yes, I know that my incredible talent for truly expressing the depths of my soul is astounding. No autographs please.)

No need to focus on the negative. Life is all about denial and delusions and repressing true emotions in favor of transitory, fleeting joys that follow you, sneering, to your death bed. In an effort to avoid self-reflection, I choose:

1. Turkey Burgers - Thank you, colleague, for your delicious, heavily-seasoned and onioned turkey burgers. Smothered in Sweet Baby Ray's, these have me too itised to care about any clouds that may be following me.

2. Venture Bros. - Thank you, Adult Swim, for introducing me to such a delightful diversion. Brock Samson is so unapologetically masculine and violent, it's hard not to feel joy when he snaps the necks of gangs of ninja henchmen. (Adult Swim, I do have a bone to pick with you, though. The lineup used to be golden--Robot Chicken, Venture Bros., Metalocalypse, Home Movies?--perfection. Now you're showing crappy shows that I refuse to give a chance. Please, do better.)

3. These Shoes - Roger Viviers, so beautiful, so worthy of sin. Plaid and platformed, you are all the things I'd sell children on the black market for.