I Feel Kinda Guilty, But...

1. Gucci Group's decision to keep the McQueen label alive despite the loss of his singular and unique creative mind is the dumbest decision in life. I get that Alexander had faith in his team and Gucci wants to continue building on the momentum the brand has gained, but no one is Alexander McQueen, has his mind, or can do what he does. Shut it down.

2. This may be a bit incendiary, but I think there should be strict segregation between the childless and child-having.

For a few months now the apartment below us has been vacant, which was fine with us. Just last week, however, some earnest brotha(ahhhh!) damn near sprinted up the stairs to greet Schmoses, I guess to initiate a preemptive strike for the bomb he was about to drop ... on our quiet, single, childless lives. So last night, in the middle of enjoying my swank media setup, I hear this bumping and running and screaming, sorta like an clan of blind dragons were break-dancing downstairs.

"What the hell is THIS?"

Turns out our new neighbors have a gaggle of loud, boisterous, perpetually moving children who like to scream and laugh at things, particularly at ten thirty at night. (Correct me, parents, but shouldn't your kids be in bed by this time?) It's terrible.

I don't have children and I don't want any, so CLEARLY I don't want to hear yours at all hours of the day (and night). And it's not like we can do anything about it. You can't tell parents to martial law their children into silence; they'll end up stupid and without spirit.

So here I am, in the apartment I thought was perfect, trapped.

Parents, if you have a shitload of kids, move into an unattached residence.

Thanks.

It's ACTING!

H. Jon Benjamin, tremendously talented, always hilarious. I do like this guy. He's voiced some of the greatest animated characters of the past ten years:

-Coach McGuirk, the sloppily lovable drunken soccer coach who dispensed advice and oozed creepiness. One of my favorite red heads.

-Master, Dr. Orpheus's shape-shifting sensai.

-Ben, Dr Katz's lazy but lovable son.

-Satan, Lucy's dad.

-Various hybrid creatures on Aqua Teen Hunger Force.

And no animate-o, but the can of vegetables in Wet, Hot American Summer was pretty hardy har too.

So now he's back with a new project, Archer. Now I saw the premiere way back when the fifth season of Sunny came back, but I wasn't feeling it at all. However, I feel as if I should give the Jon another chance. I mean ... I spent the last six years or so whining about the death of Home Movies. So yeah, Archer, tonight. It's going dooooooooooooooooooooooooooooown.

2010

It's limited edition and oh so enjoyable.

I guess I would be amiss if I failed to observe a certain cultural tradition. Actually, I've missed a few, so Happy Thanksgiving, Merry Christmas, and (early on this one) Happy New Year.

Hopefully, you've enjoyed some good holiday programming (the Twilight Zone marathon on SciFi [I refuse to use the new spelling] or the Hitchcock marathon on TCM or the Masterpiece Mystery marathon on WTTW) or are preparing for a joyful night out.

Random fact: There's a full moon tonight. Supposedly, we won't have another on New Year's Eve for at least another 18 years.

Random thought: I finally watched the '05 Bleak House production. It was fantastic.

That's all I got. Make sure there are some black-eyed peas in the house.

Okay.

The Five Greatest Cartoons Ever

1. Daria -- God! I loved this show. It was funny, poked very appropriate fun at the ridiculousness of high schoolers, and kinda perfectly captured that early-90s, "alternative" period that was a big chunk of my adolescence.

Favorite characters: Daria (of course), Trent, Mr. Morgendorffer


2. Home Movies -- One of the most consistently hilarious shows to have ever seen the light of day. Brendon Small and company remain some of the most endearing, ridiculous and memorable characters of all time. To this day, when I hear a character voiced by H. Jon Benjamin, I yell, "Hey, that's Coach McGuirk!" The music was pretty awesome. Also, Shannon is the greatest bully ever.

Favorite characters: Coach McGuirk, Brendon, Shannon, the gentle talk therapist, Walter & Perry. (I pretty much love every character here.)
3. The Venture Bros. -- I'm lamenting the lack of Brock Samson and mourning the loss of 24 on the latest season, but I still carry quite a torch for Rusty Venture and company. Love the whole parody of the superheroes milieu. Just plain funny.

Favorite characters: Brock Samson, Dr. Orpheus, the Monarch


4. Garfield and Friends -- Best theme song ever! (The first one.) Damn good Saturday morning cartooning here. Looking back, I'm surprised at the level of humor. This was a show for kids, but I still crack up thinking about the general wackyness.

Favorite characters: Garfield, Pooky, Binky the Clown


5. Laff-A-Lympics -- Everyone watched Hanna Barbera cartoons. Everyone. And when HB decided to put all their stars together, it got that much more exciting.

Every Week It's Mystery Meat

I got a Wii and a Wii Fit system for my birthday, and I'm trying.

I don't know, that long period of relaxation I experienced last year, the one with the Hot Doug's orgies and television marathons, padded my areas. And now when I dress for work I look obscene, like I purposefully bought my pants two sizes too small. (I just bit into a Krispee Kreme. It's really good. Focus!)

So I'm trying to lose weight a different way. The gym isn't for me. Too much work--getting there, changing clothes, using machines--as I said, too much work. Instead, I'm going it the Wii route, and I'm fixing my lunch for work, and I'm limiting my midnight snacking.

We'll see.

Thoughts From a Maxwell Concert

1. Men should NOT encourage their girlfriends to see this man in concert. He's like a shimmying, hormone-inducing cult leader, even when hoarse.

2. The non-work black man uniform: V-neck (in a daring but safe color), button up, trendy jeans, brown square-toed shoes, and Donny Hathaway hat. If said black man is under thirty it's probably just trendy jeans and t-shirt with all kinds of color.

3. There are some seriously unfortunate outfits out there. Ladies, I'm looking at you.

4. Despite my non allegiance to religion, I'm pretty puritanical.

5. GET A ROOM!!!!! The couple next to me kept tonguing each other down and making noises and standing up just so the dude could violently grope the girl's behind. Jesus Christ! I'm trying to watch a concert here!

6. Once upon a time, I really, really loved hip hop. (Thanks, Common, for the reminder, and I understand that you're too mature to do your old stuff.)

7. The amount of chatter between a couple is inversely proportional to how long they've been together.

Bebe Zahara Benet

Just in case you didn't know, Bebe Zahara Benet is more fierce than you.






Do yourself a favor. If you're not watching RuPaul's Drag Race, go on over to LOGO and rectify that situation. Okay?
***********************************************************************************

Dial M For Murder was pretty good. I guess that weak-assed Gwyneth Paltrow vehicle The Perfect Murder was supposed to pay homage, huh? For shame. At least it had Viggo Mortensen.

Getting My La Pasadita On

I used to have a tradition called Hot Dog Fridays that featured Hot Doug's. That eventually evolved into Taco Fridays featuring La Pasadita.

Tonight, I wanted to revisit those times and attempted to emulate La Pasadita's taco. It definitely wasn't the same, but it was damn tasty.

Word to the wise, do not attempt to drink eisbocks and be functional. Those joints are mad strong (and delicious).

Also, tomorrow I'm getting my left arm all kinds of illustrated, and I'm having doubts. Unfortunately, the sugar cube was dropped, leaving room for the robot parts, cheeseburger, and stick of butter only. Apparently, this whole exercise will take about 20 hours. Yay?

Watchmen tomorrow.

WOOOOOooooOOOOO/Sci Fi Reading

Remember this post about my tour through sci fi classics? I haven't forgot. I'm just lazy. So far, I've waded through three and a half short stories, two of which I'd already read, and one-half a graphic novel.

"The Veldt" & "Zero Hour"/Ray Bradbury - I'd read both of these before, more than once as a matter of fact. Luckily, I'm on borderline Alzheimer's status, so I enjoyed them as if they were new. Also, I had luckily kept The Illustrated Man, the book in which they appeared, checked out on October 16, 1989 from The Ray School library. That's right, while you were playing and having fun, I was stealing books from school libraries. I'm BAD!






Both stories deal with the private worlds of children and their potential dangerousness when left unattended or ignored. Bradbury's writing has always struck me as very sensitive and lyrical. His description of scenery is so vibrant, characters so seemingly realsitic (even his Martians in The Martian Chronicles are "normal") that you often forget that you're reading fantastical tales. Both are recommended, fun tales that aren't mindblowing but are entertaining.

"Nightfall"/Isaac Asimov - I don't know how I've never read this one. Pure Asimov, an interesting concept brought to life through well-written dialogue and an incredible use of tension/suspense. No spoilers: The story centers on the concept of a planet bathed in sunlight as the result of having multiple suns, a once millennial eclipse, and the effects of darkness on a people who have never experienced it. Incredible story. Read it!

In the middle of Heinlein's "The Roads Must Roll."

Started The Watchmen last night in anticipation of Friday's movie debut. Got half way through. So far, it's busy but compelling, if only because I want to see how the characters' threads and the many asides come together.

In Fatter News ...

I'm slowly reverting back to my former habits. This morning I made waffles (approximately seven of them), and this evening I made chocolate chip cookies. I'm gonna stop fighting it; I was meant to have high LDL levels and intermittent chest pains from all the fat I consume.

For Schmoe Diggla's Mama's birthday, we hit Chi-Tung. People were dangerously close to food coma.

See? Jimmy has collapsed over his cookie.

My delicious fruit punch backwash remains untouched cuz I have
approximately 14 pounds of food in my stomach.

However, the random Asian food gods have some good news for me.
Perhaps they refer to a cholesterol test.

To keep the fat fattening, I plan on having a pepper crusted steak and a potato gratin tomorrow. That means I'll have meat, potatoes, and cream for dinner. Mmm ... food.

I guess this is a good enough space to make a random Alton Brown allusion. "Oh, bother."


Also, there are some bloggers out there doing wonderful things for food. Thank you.
Coconut & Lime
Closet Cooking - singlehandedly responsible for my love of orange root vegetables with blue cheese.
101 Cookbooks
Orthogonal Thought

Finally, the Fat Boys had it all figured out:

Tagged - 16 Random Things

I was tagged by long-winded Nicholas. There's no use pretending I'm too good for putting my business in the streets; I love these things.

1.

I am obsessed with genitalia. HEAR ME OUT!!! Not in a sexual way, just in a scientific way. I have countless books on sex determination/behavior, ambiguous genitalia, and hermaphrodism and wonder with each person I meet if they were born with indeterminate sex organs. I mean, it's pretty common (one child in 100), so someone I know has to be on Jamie Lee Curtis status. I'd love to talk with them about it. I guess it's because I grew up the only girl and became acutely aware of how differently boys and girls are socialized. Plus, I've never bought that this random assignation of sex could really explain the huge gulf between men and women. I suppose I'm more of a nuturist. If I could redo my life, I'd change my major and travel the globe doing field research and writing about genitals. (Way to start with a bang, eh?)

2.

I love eating. It really has to be life's greatest pleasure. The variety of tastes and textures and flavor combinations available to the palette is mind boggling. I wish to taste as much stuff as I can before I die of diabetes and stroke and heart attack. (Bugs do not count, even if some of them do taste like Tutti-Frutti.) For this reason, I really want to try human meat. I don't know how this will happen, but if some shifty, clearly terrible human being dies or some willing participant donates his or her body to culinary science, I'll be there with fork and barbecue sauce in hand. Don't judge me.

3.

I've been told this a number of times, have mentioned it a number of times, and plan on executing it in tattoo form in a few months, but I really feel a kinship with robots. One of my favorite books is I, Robot by Isaac Asimov. Sometimes, I just don't feel the things I'm supposed to feel. If only therapy were cheap enough for me to afford it.

4.

I have shitloads of gray hair (and a filthy mouth to match)!

5.

I hate Oscar-bait and sad movies in general. My mom was reading through the Oscar (Golden Globe?) picks and asked why we hadn't seen any. I responded, “I hate crying.” Dude, I go to the movies to escape from sad-ass life through kung fu and car chases and shit-talking heroes. Screw that sappy, glaringly realistic, introspective shit.

6.

I once had an amazingly country accent. I discovered this while viewing a dusty VHS tape of myself at eight or six or something. I wonder what happened to it? Did other kids shame me into getting rid of it? It sucks because I spoke to some Alabama fam over Christmas and she said, “Querida, you sound like such a white girl.” Great.

7.

Up until the age of 25 or so, my dreams were exceedingly gory and disturbing. I mean, blood and dismembered body parts all over the place. I was constantly being chased by cult leaders and vampires and large monkeys and all manner of creepy personages. True, I watched a lot of horror as a kid, but wtf? I finally started “dreaming” like a real person in my late-twenties. It's so boring now.

8.

My memory is terrible, like scary, early-onset Alzheimer's terrible. I once walked past my aunt on the street, looked her dead in the face and kept walking, not because I wanted to avoid her but because she simply didn't register. I can't recall simple details like what I wore or ate yesterday or anything before the age of, say, eight. I honestly think I've suffered some brain damage somewhere.

9.

People who know me know this, but I really wasn't allowed to play outside when I was a kid. It was me and my Legos® and my silver portable radio and my brown plastic turntable. Sometimes I could sit on the porch and read, but that's about it. No wonder my social skills are horrible.

10.

People tend to think I'm bitchy and mean, and while it doesn't really bother me, it is inaccurate. I'm just really reserved and easily annoyed. Actually, I'm quite pleasant and dislike conflict.

11.

Consequently, I find it really hard to hate people. I can conjure up some dislike, but for the most part it always dissipates in a few weeks if not a few days. It's not that I don't find some people hateable, but I just don't have the time, attention span, or energy. Go over there ----> with that.

12.

I can be objective about great cinema, but really, what's messing with Killer Klowns From Outer Space?

13.

I get Aretha and all, but Patti LaBelle is way iller. Period.

14.

I've always wondered what it would be like to be a dominatrix. A less uptight me would've found out by now.

15.

There are exactly five varieties of empty beer and one half bottle of vodka in my bedroom as I type. I am not an alcoholic. Seriously. I've had that bottle of vodka since November of 2005.

16.

Finally, uhhh... let's see...yes! About two years ago I was bald, like dude bald, and I wanted so badly to rock the ill Bobby Brown side part, but I was too chicken. Oh well.

This goes out to a few folks:
Monica - Because she loves these things. Right? Plus, I wanna know something I don't know.
My Brother Jimmy - Cause he types fast, and I wanna learn something about him.
Daniel - Because he's ridiculously interesting.
The Bakers (this counts as three)- Cause we family.
Rachel - Because I we haven't really communicated since she went back to Italy.
Danny - Because we fam, but I I don't know this grown version of him with the tattoos and rhapsodizing on women.
Chanda - Because you're awesome.
Ben - Because he "rocks the sweet daddy long fox minks." Not really, but he would.
Natalie - Because it'll be good to hear what's behind the "camera face."
Joanna - Because I haven't seen her in years, but think she's fabulous.
Eugene - Because he has great taste in movies.
Quentin - Because I want to know what my brother's up to. (You don't check your page at all, do you?)
Lakeiya - Because I missed you at Christmas, but you're hella busy, aren't you.
Andrew - Because you're hilarious and would undoubtedly make my day.

Tit for TATTS!!!!

Nope, the title makes no sense. Moving on.

So, I've already broken in my dermis with one absolutely ridiculous tattoo--a dancing bacon man. Now, I feel I need to take the next step--tattoomania. I've decided that my right arm (above the elbow) and shoulder blade should be covered in sweet, delicious ink. Now, I was gonna get a food motif--a cannibalistic cheeseburger, an obese stick of butter with fangs, and a sugar cube on an IV, my favorite foods depicting what will become of me if I keep it up. (We keep it hella cheerful here at fatmeatisgreasy.) Then, I felt I should get a robot tattoo of some sort, since I've always been accused by various exes of being one (and kinda love the shit out of them). However, I got the feeling that these things wouldn't "match." If I was gonna cover a specific part of my body in inks and patterns, I figured said inks should make some sort of sense. So, after much discussion with Schmoe Diggla, I've decided on a thematic layout--an open wound that both exposes my robotic innards and bleeds food products. That's right, you've read correctly, I'm completely bat shit. Yay me!

I've found some inspirational photos on the net that will serve as loose templates for my work. Feast your eyes folks.

First, the wound exposing circuitry. It should be something like this:


Photo credits here go to www.sepiamutiny.com/sepia/AnilGuptaRobot.jpg and http://free-tattoodesign.blogspot.com/2007/10/machine-tattoo-designs.html respectively. (Please let me know if you'd like me to remove your pictures.)

I can't really find photos of the individual items I'll have spilling from the wound since they're kinda kooky, but put yourself in the mind of the angry veggies featured in this link.

So, yeah. I have heart burn from all the crap I just ate, so it's definitely time for bed.

Happy New Year

Note the lack of appropriate exclamation. It's a new year, sure, but these arbitrary distinctions in time don't really excite me, especially since nothing has really changed for me.

Ha! Ha! (Mood change.)

No need to be all Eeyore in this piece.

So, just to kick things off all proper like, I figure I'd address those who apparently read this blog but do not comment. Thanks for reading ... really. It's good to know that Monica isn't the only one.


Next, a quick movie review. The fam and I saw The Spirit, which was godawful. I got the comedic turn on film noir; however, it was so poorly done that there were very few redemptive qualities. I mean, the characters were so flat as to appear wooden. The dialogue was stiffer than Ron Jeremy at an outdoor orgy. Oh yeah, the cinematography was pretty great to my untutored eyes, and Scarlett Johansson's wardrobe was pretty boss, but that's it. Other than that, wait for it to come OnDemand, if then. Sorry, Gabriel Macht, no star turn for you.

Finally, the jury is in. I'm 30, which means I need to stop being delusional about my core self. I hate parties. I do not enjoy the company of large throngs of strangers (unless, of course, we've come together for the mutual appreciation of some music act). My idea of "going out" is eating. That's it. Take my rapacious ass to a restaurant of some sort, place me in front of a platter of edibles, and get back. That, my dears, is what life is about, chasing diabetes and blood pressure. In honor of this recognition, I spent half of New Year's Eve enjoying the comforts of slightly hoity-toity foods with my like-minded buddies. For only 40 bucks, we feasted on chicken livers mousse, trout roe blinis, Sicilian tuna, seafood bouillabaisse, young chicken with chestnuts, chocolate date cakes, and honey panna cottas. It was all delicious. If in Chicago, check out The Bristol on 2152 N. Damen; I hear they have brunch, which I'm thoroughly looking forward to. I then went to a party, where I quickly retreated into an empty room to play cards then went out for more food. Ain't nothing like a BLT at three in the morning.




Blinis and chicken liver mousse

Sicilian Tuna

Chocolate Date Pudding Cake and Chestnut Honey Panna Cotta

Tagged

1. Put your music player on shuffle.
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS!
4. Tag 10 friends who might enjoy doing the game as well as the person you got the game from.

1. IF SOMEONE SAYS "IS THIS OKAY" YOU SAY?
"Making Love in the Rain" - Herb Albert f/ Janet Jackson
Apparently the person asking is a john and I'm ... well, unemployment is really tough, okay! Don't judge me!

2. WHAT WOULD BEST DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONALITY?
(Disclaimer: I think pimps are horrible people.)
"Like a Pimp" - David Banner
"Me? I'm a pimp/I ain't payin' for no sex/ I'd rather buy a car or a new Rolex"
My itunes knows me so well.


3. WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
"Birthday Dethday" - Dethklok
"RSVP PLEASE/For the DETH of thee/You have little time/And you're running out of life/Happy Birthday/You're gonna die"
Weird, but it makes sense. If he's dead, he can't get on my nerves. Mmm, necrophilia. It's what's for dinner. (Note: No, it's not.)

4. HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
"For Your Love" - Stevie Wonder
Umm ... "for your love, I would do anything." That's not true, actually, but I'm in a lying mood today.

5. WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE?
"Stress" - Organized Konfusion
To transfer my stress to others so that I can live comfortably and others can die of high blood pressure.

6. WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO?
"Break Down and Let it All Out" - Nina Simone
"I've held back my tears just as long as I could"
This works, as I'm ever on the verge of drop kicking the person nearest me. Watch out, random people, you just don't know when a Chuck Norris-styled roundhouse kick is in the cards.

7. WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
"Sky Blue You" - Peven Everett
"Please come/to my/cele-bration"
Apparently, they freakin' love me! However, they're smart and know I probably won't be there.

8.WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
"Just Like the First Time" - Freddie Jackson
Yep, I'm stuck in the past. Nostalgia tends to add that rosy tinge that makes the present so much less agreeable. Freddie Jackson has it right; the first time, back then, was better.

9. WHAT IS 2 + 2?
"Come Around" - M.I.A.
"Put a hump or two on your back just like that, oh girl you're on fire ... I've been overkilling them, I break backs" - Timbaland
(Best song on this album, by the way.)
According to this little ditty, it's the number of backs Timbo breaks. Good for him.

10. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?
"Luxury: Cococure (Mixzo Mix)" - Maxwell
Honestly, I can't make out what Maxwell is saying in this version, and, coincidentally, I don't know if I even have a best friend. See?!?! I got crazy connections.

11.WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
"Love the Way" - Murs & 9th Wonder
"Inside and outside, I know every part of you/Know where you going/Before you start to move"
Perfect song. No explanation needed.

12. WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
"I Just Called to Say" - Teddy Pendergrass
"You and I" - Stevie Wonder
I was gonna skip these songs, but since I got two schmaltzy love songs in a row, I figured it was a message. Even my ipod is bothering me about being single.

13. WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
Freestyle - Kane
"Non competible [hey, he said it!]/I'm not saying I'm the best/I'm just sayin' I'm f*ckin' incredible/And let's just make one more thing understood/If I FART on a record/That sh*t gon sound good"
That's it. I want to be that self assured. Long live the Kane.


14. WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
"Sportin' Life" - James Brown (Back Caesar Soundtrack)
It's an instrumental. so I guess I hear music? (Woodwinds, strings, and horns to be exact.)

15. WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
"I'mma Break it Down" - Eazy E
"Now look at me and not the poster/and you could see right off I got the most of/
the talent, experience or a trade/and complements for the rhyme thats made "
It just means that they know I'm the dopest. Yes, my parents think in late 80s/early 90s hip hop lingo.

16. WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
"Go to Hell" - Nina Simone
I can't make this up; it's what the shuffle chose. I suppose this'll be playing cuz I'll be perplexed as to how I got there.


17. What will they play at your funeral?
"Get Up" - Lost Boyz
Mr. Cheeks is just shoutin' out his boys and drinking in this one. I suppose the spectators at my funeral can give me a standing ovation or expect a creepy surprise from my corpse.

18. WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
"What a Job" - Devin the Dude f/ Snoop & Andre 3000
Those of you who know this song, the chorus. The chorus is my hobby, minus the music though.

19. WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
"Operation cb" - G. Rap & DJ Polo
This song is so profane and offensive, it's not even funny. Secretly, I'm the same way.

20. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
"Just One Star" - Antony & The Johnsons
I'm gonna kill MC for putting this creepy crap on my itunes. It's perfect cuz my friends are so freakin' pushy.


21. WHAT'S THE WORST THING THAT COULD HAPPEN?
"Been in Love" - Eric Roberson
This would be a bad situation. The worst thing, though, not so much. Maybe if I fell in love with a killer cyborg and we broke up?

22. HOW WILL YOU DIE?
"Lovers & Friends" Lil Jon, Ludacris, Usher
What a sucky pick. Maybe they'll all rise up and kill me Murder on the Orient Express style from all the ill treatment over the years.

23. WHAT IS THE ONE THING YOU REGRET?
"Drive" - The Cars
I didn't let anyone "drive" me "home." Quotation marks needed to signal the metaphor here, and no, it doesn't mean sex perverts.

24. WHAT MAKES YOU LAUGH?
"Southern Hospitality" - Ludacris
The chorus of this song is pretty funny.

25. WHAT MAKES YOU CRY?
"Sweet Nothings" - Roisin Murphy
Actually, they don't, but theoretically they should.

26. WILL YOU EVER GET MARRIED?
"Gas Drawls" - MF Doom
"The unemotional/call me anti-social/on the run off the gun/death tally commercial"
Does this sound like a person who should get married to you?

27. DOES ANYONE LIKE YOU?
"Work Song" - Nina Simone
"Working and working/But I still got so terribly far to go"
Honestly, I'm becoming a nicer person everyday. In no time people actually will.

28. IF YOU COULD GO BACK IN TIME, WHAT WOULD YOU CHANGE?
"You Make Me Wanna" - Usher
Yeah, his friend was cuter and more sane. Oh well, guess I dropped that ball.

29. WHAT HURTS RIGHT NOW?
"At the Helm" - Hieroglyphics (Del)
"Life is a blast when you know what you're doin'/Best to know what you're doin' 'fore your life get ruined/Life is a thrill when your skill is developed/If you ain't got a skill or trade, then shut the hell up"
Why didn't anyone tell me I could get paid to shop for a living? If only I'd made the right decisions then, I wouldn't be eating a big, fat regret sandwich with a side of why fries.

30. WHAT WILL YOU POST THIS AS?
"Blind Mary" - Gnarls Barkley
I don't even know what this question is asking, so I guess I'll be posing this as a completely clueless person.

Tagged?

Honestly, I'm not too sure about this tagging thing. I mean, I'm just as socially unaware online as I am offline, but eff it. New leaves turning and whatnot.

1. What are your nicknames?
Very few nicknames. People tend to just call me by my name. If not, they just opt for the first initial, Q, or, in the country, I'm either Rita Mae or Lil Tootie Boot.

2. What game show and/or reality show would you like to be on?
None. I'd love to have a Food Network show or be on one of their specials so that I could meet Alton Brown though.

3. What was the first movie you bought in VHS or DVD?
VHS? 976-EVIL, I think. DVD? Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon

4. What is your favorite scent?
Anything citrus-y and vanilla-y. The only fragrance I'll wear, Sugar Blossom, is a combination of the two.

5. If you had a million dollars that you could only spend on yourself, what would you do with it?
Pay down my debts, buy a house on that swank strip of Rockwell near Sunnyside, and figure out a way to exploit this recession, rape the hell out of Miu Miu's and Prada's fall shoe collection, take a trip to Paris to shop, and commission old women to knit stuff for me. A million dollars is not nearly enough for my desires.

6. What one place have you visited that you can't forget and want to go back to?
Haven't been there yet, but I'd maim old ladies for some of that coco bread from the spot in Atlanta near the AUC.

7. Do you trust easily?
Not at all.

8. Do you think before you act, or act before you think?
Definitely think. I have twisted myself into a fibrous and super-stressed knots with all the thinking I do. I still make bad decisions anyway.

9. Is there anything that has made you unhappy these days?
Plenty. As soon as I get the money, therapy, here I come!

10. Do you have a good body image?
Sometimes

11. What is your favorite fruit?
Muscadines and Rainier cherries

12. What websites do you visit daily?
yahoo, very smart brothas, okayplayer, gmail, facebook, notcouture, popgloss ( I have a bit of a surfing problem.)

13. What have you been seriously addicted to lately?
Tombstone pizzas ( despite the ubiquitous commercials in the 80s and 90s, who knew?), Fuze green tea, and oatmeal-banana shakes.

14. What kind of person do you think the person who tagged you is?
It's just Monica. She's adorable and has a zest for life. *snicker*

15. What's the last song that got stuck in your head?
"Can't Do Without" Peven Everett

16. What's your favorite item of clothing?
Assuming that shoes don't count, sweater dresses (generally), my Joe's Chelsea jeans (specifically).

17. Do you think Rice Krispies are yummy?
The commercial ones, yes. Probably because of the the myriad types of sugar in them.

18. What would you do if you saw $100 lying on the ground?
Slyly ease down, pick it up, and keep it moving.

19. What items could you not go without during the day?
Cable, my computer, and food.

20. What should you be doing right now?
Looking for a job and calling my mom.

The Ghost of Atrack's Past

you're happy now, but just you wait. it'll end.

I totally stole this idea from some Very Smart Brothas, but it's a damn good idea.

A Letter to Young(er) Me

kick him in the nuts, insult him, and shove him out the front door. it'll feel great.

oh, and that West Indian cat in Atlanta? don't go. trust me, you'll regret it.

don't be so damned mean. he was a sweetheart. those other fuckers? yeah, they deserved your harsh words and ire. continue to laugh at their hurt feelings and K.I.M. matter of fact, talk about their mothers and dare them to say something.

explain to them. make them understand that you need to go away. don't bottle it up like you always do cuz you'll just end up at that wack-ass school begrudgingly taking classes until you graduate eight (yes 8!!!!) years later.

and don't major in English. what the fuck is that about? either major in some super will-make-you-paper shit or actually follow your heart and try to shop for a living. one day, on a semi-warm august afternoon, you will be effing miserable and mad perplexed about what to do next if you don't.

she's crazy ... as hell. she was a good friend for a minute, but that time has expired. despite the time you spend, the sacrifices you make, the pleas you cop, you cannot help her. that time in pizza hut when you tried to get away? be successful. don't be wooed back with sorrys and heartfelt letters. if she doesn't get the message, just give her the look and throw up the deuce.

i'm sorry. i don't speak crazy

honestly, you shoulda did him. that's right. it would've still ended (poorly) but at least you wouldn't be wondering years later.

save some money, dummy. yes, it's okay to still buy an ill pair (or three) of shoes every month or so, but siphon off summa that dee-oh-ee for the harsh times you know are a-comin'. gurrrl, you know you can't keep a job.

you'll still be fresh to def. word to Big Bird (or Cookie Monster).

I Need Therapy

Yeah.

So if anyone knows of a good therapist in Chicago, holla.

Aceyalone - Fortitude

Pure Hilarity

I'm loving this rash of goofy yet hilarious commercials championed by the likes of GEICO (holla, I got mad low rates, yo!), Skittles, Burger King and Comcast. One of my recent favorites:



I, too, Mr. Pinata man, feel alienated from my fellow man. I often think people think I don't bleed, feel, cry, but am filled with little sour-flavored, jellied candies. Just as you are filled with real blood and guts, not "little chocolatey candies," I, too, am filled with the entrails of human emotion.

"I'M JUST LIKE EVERYONE ELSE!"

(There isn't a trace of seriousness in this post.)

New Knit Deez

Yay for me. I finish stuff.

New knit deez post here.

I'm Broke

Right now, I am the brokest I have been in years. My "daddy money" has run out, I had to pay rent last week, and I have a shopping problem. These things combined makes for a bank account that is dangerously close to being in the red. Luckily (and because of my shopping habit), I had hella shit to sell to the good people on Ebay. Not so luckily, I have to wait three to four days before my PayPal funds will transfer to my bank account. Fiddlesticks!

***********************************************************************************************************

As some sort of pick me up, I guess I'll regress to eleventh grade and post about smokin' hot members of the opposite sex.



Raheem DeVaughn (or Raheem Dervaughn as Schmoses calls him) looks like a sea creature, but that's not meant to be an insult. Well ... it kinda is. There's no way around a sea creature comment, but that's not the point. The point is that despite the whole sea creature thing, he's hot. Enjoy his chick-friendly falsetto.



If you know me and have not heard my diatribe on how hot Pharoahe Monch is, you don't know me very well. It all happened around 1997 when Organized Konfusion dropped their third (and my least favorite) album. Up til then he was just the really ill one in the group (though Prince Po was certainly no slouch) and out of nowhere comes this slim and toned Monch in the "Somehow, Someway" video. Let me tell ya, I was floored ... and smitten. Since then, OK has broken up, both Po and Monch have released solo efforts, and I have wished, over and over, that these two would find their ways back to each other. This wish may never be fulfilled, but the pure hotness of Troy Jamerson (and his skill, of course) will have me at the local Best Buy for his latest release Desire on June 26, 2007. (Dontcha just love his neosoul fro?)



I love Stephen Marley. For some reason, chicks sleep on him as the cute Marley son. Monica prefers (or preferred) Damian. Ziggy got props back in the day. I hear some give it up for Kymani. And Lauren went for Rohan. Stephen man, Stephen. Plus, he's got those production skills.





Now this is a big one. I have a full-fledged, school girl/stalker crush on this man. Meet Isaac de Bankole, an actor who hails from the Ivory Coast and loves to star in difficult-to-watch films--you know, about racial injustice and stuff. Lucky for him, I'm a diligent fan and will watch him be emasculated, murdered, and generally disrespected by every manner of white folk just to get a glimpse of his sweet ass. He's also lucky that I'm too prideful and lazy to be a stalker; otherwise, he'd have to file some serious restraining orders. He was once married to Cassandra Wilson, which means they both have mutually fantastic taste, but I hear they're no longer together. Too bad; I really liked the idea of them. I've watched many a depressing movie just to stare at him. Take for example Chocolat, not the light-hearted French film starring Juliette Binoche, but the older (1988 I believe) film about racial objectification and emasculation in 1960s (or something) Cameroon. Total anger fest, but Isaac was nekkid in this film, so I'd watch it again and again. (His cheekbones could cut glass.)

Well that's it. I've exhausted my pervert reserves for the day. For those of you who like slightly off-kilter looks and huge lips, enjoy.