fat meat is greasy

Let's Start This Right

2011-02-01T12:32:00.004-06:00

This American Life - Harold

Venture Bros., I Already Miss You

2010-12-30T00:35:00.008-06:00

Playing around with Rainmeter, Customize.org, and generally missing Venture Bros. has led to a pretty cute desktop. Behold.

I could honestly be doing something more constructive, but why?

If you're still sleep, catch up with the show from the beginning on Adult Swim at 8:00 p.m. (central time) on Sundays.

Donald Glover

2010-12-14T12:37:00.002-06:00

That's all.

My First Computer Build

2010-12-10T11:26:00.009-06:00

Yeah, I've swapped parts or been minimally involved in other computer builds, but this is my first, and it was successful!

My old HP m8200n Media Center PC was dying, and I figured I'd spend money starting over rather than spending money to upgrade. So, for less than $500 (much less after I send these rebates in), I have a nice quad core system with nice graphics and good amounts of space all because I spent a few hours not being lazy.

THE PARTS - I've provided links, but prices have mostly gone up since the holiday. They're still pretty good, though, and Newegg's shipping is fast.

Power Supply, OCZ Falat1ty 550W Modular - I guess I could've gone with more power, but I checked my needs against the parts I purchased, and this is more than enough. I'm happy that I got a modular model (one that has removable connections, so you can use only the cords you need) because the cord situation got a little crazy. It's also 80 PLUS certified and is ATX12V compatible, which is good since these features maximize energy efficiency and output.

http://www.newegg.com/Product/Product.aspx?Item=N82E16817341022

CPU, AMD Phenom II x 4 955 Black Edition - So far I haven't really done anything labor intensive, but even with rudimentary tasks I can tell the difference from my old Athlon dual-core processor. I could've gone with an Intel, but for the extra money it just wasn't worth it for me.

http://www.newegg.com/Product/Product.aspx?Item=N82E16819103808

Motherboard, Asus M4A88TD-V EVO/USB 3 - Nice motherboard for a cheapskate who wants to skip an extra graphics card but have HD capabilities. For my old system, I bought an Nvidia 8600 GT to get dual monitor capabilities, but there's no need with this MOBO. I currently have my flat panel monitor and LCD television hooked up and it's just fine. (There's a VGA, DVI, and HDMI out; the last is awesome since you don't have to have a separate cord for audio if you use it.)

http://www.newegg.com/Product/Product.aspx?Item=N82E16813131646

Memory, G. Skill 4 GB DDR 1333 Dual Channel - It was well priced and highly rated. So far, so good. Since I'm finally using 64-bit architecture, I'll probably add additional memory at some point.

http://www.newegg.com/Product/Product.aspx?Item=N82E16820231179

Case, Rosewill Destroyer ATX Tower - This was probably my biggest deal. This thing is huge and roomy and has three fans, located so that your system stays cool. I had absolutely no problem building inside this thing. Best of all, it was $39.99 when I bought it. Love it!

http://www.newegg.com/Product/Product.aspx?Item=N82E16811147144

I finished it off with an LG DVD player and a Seagate 1 TB hard drive. Unfortunately, the Western Digital Caviar Black I bought arrived dead, so I had to run out to the Tiger Direct to grab one.

The 64-bit version of Windows 7 Professional I used was super cheap since I'm a student (see http://www.microsoft.com/student/en/us/software/windows/default.aspx for details. You just need an e-mail address ending in .edu.)

So yeah, I'm pleased as punch right now.

Top Five Halloween Viewing

2010-10-23T14:50:00.011-05:00

My favorite holiday of the year is a-coming, which provides a perfect excuse to make yet another list of horror movies that I enjoy. In addition to the old stand-bys, Friday the 13th, A Nightmare on Elm Street, and Halloween, there are hundreds of other films fit to make you laugh, cry or puke. Why not let them entertain you?

Top Five Horror Films (in no particular order)

TO MAKE YOU LAUGH

1. Army of Darkness

2. Night of the Creeps

3. Black Sheep

4. Tales of Terror

5. Werewolf

TO GENUINELY CREEP YOU OUT

1. The Exorcist

2. The Thing

3. The Birds

4. The Ring

5. Nosferatu (1922)

TO MAKE YOU SAY, "WHAT THE FUCK?"

1. Videodrome

2. The Beyond

3. Phantasm

4. Sisters

5. Tenebrae

Isaach de Bankole

2010-10-20T17:12:00.003-05:00

Other than being fantastically talented and a mathematician on the low, he is absolutely, undoubtedly, most positively the most gorgeous actor working today.

My favorite performances of his can be viewed in Chocolat (not the Juliette Binoche/Johnny Depp vehicle but the 1988 film), Ghost Dog, and The Limits of Control.

Curvy Kate & DimitySO Review

2010-09-27T17:22:00.009-05:00

So, I did a post a minute ago about the shortcomings of the retail lingerie market here in America ... or something like that. Anyway, since I discovered some overseas brands, I've been buying more foreign lingerie. Freya, Fantasie, Lepel, and Pour Moi? have been my staples, but two recent companies have piqued my interest. Meet ...

Curvy Kate, a UK brand that specializes in pretty bras for the smaller-backed, larger-cupped lady. I ordered three of their signature styles from Brastop.com (another UK company that offers some of the best lingerie around at discounted prices. Shipping to the US is pretty fast.).

Thrill Me, Fuschia/Orange

From the Spring/Summer 2010 Showgirl collection.

Love it! It looks like much too much, but it works. The band on this one seems a bit stretchy, so you may be able to order down a size. (I'm usually a 30 in the band, but I think I could've easily fit the 28.) Otherwise, the cups are true to size and fit pretty much like Freya and Fantasie. (You may have to go up one or two cup sizes if you're used to US sizes only.)

Tease Me, Black/Lemon

From the same collection. Another winner. Same fit as above--stretchy band, TTS cups. Gorgeous and, incredibly, suitable for everyday wear.

Criss Cross, Teal/White

From an older collection, '08 I think. This one has a much more snug band, so you don't have to order down a size.

****

Now DimitySO is a brand I just discovered a few months ago. They're an Australian company that also specializes in small bands and large cups. Launched this year, they focus on a more simple and pretty look.

Glum Pixie, After Dark/Buff

You've seen this one before, but I've actually had the chance to try it out. The band runs pretty TTS; unfortunately, the cup I wanted wasn't in stock, so I tried a few others. It seems my size would fit perfectly. As cute as it is, the support is just okay. Any sort of jumping around might find you knocked out by knockers. (I'm a hoot! -ers. Zing!)

So, yeah, I'm still on an underwear kick. Of course I'm all about sharing the wealth, so I'll list a few great online shops for my fellow shopping addicts.

(Pictures from curvykate.com, brastop.com, and figleaves.com)

Twisted Nostalgia - Horror for Kiddies

2010-08-27T20:05:00.006-05:00

I have a new favorite podcast, horroretc (horror etcetera). If you love horror, are deeply nostalgic, and like knowledgeable but fun discussion of your favorite flicks, check them out. They don't ramble like most podcasters.

In the process of catching up on their 150 shows, I came across Episode 80, Kid Friendly Horror, and thought back to my younger days, those spent watching Svengoolie and renting videos from the local shop (or having my mom rent them ... whatever). Though I started out pretty early watching things I shouldn't have (Vampyros Lesbos anyone?), I have so many memories of those kid-geared early flicks that were the right mix of creepy and comforting.

Something Wicked This Way Comes - Honestly I can't remember a thing from this movie other than some magical light and advanced aging and a guy with a great beard, but I remember loving it. I think a teacher of mine actually showed it in class.

The Witches - I wonder do kids have people like Roald Dahl today, a man that writes funny but disturbing tales that refuse to mistake the audience's youth for stupidity. The Witches brought Dahl's special blend of crazy, funny, and creepy to the screen pretty well (despite the happy ending). With Angelica Houston, you really can't go wrong. I swear, everytime this movie magically finds its way onscreen, I forget how shitty it is to be an adult and get all warm and happy inside. Jim Henson was involved!

The Monster Squad - I think I've mentioned my love for Night of the Creeps numerous times. Fred Dekker was responsible for that masterpiece and this one, an homage to childhood and the classic pantheon of monsters. Another I have to rewatch since I haven't seen it in a while but undoubtedly one of the best from that period.

The Gate - Remember The Gate! Man, that was my stuff (not to be confused with The Stuff). All I remember is a gate (of course) and some kids and a portal to hell, but boy was that combination fantastic. I now know that it stars a young Stephen Dorff. Who knew?

The Lady in White - Man!!!! This movie used to come on what felt like all the time. So atmospheric, this film. A true ghost story that creates a mood that is sustained the entire time. If you've never seen it, do.

Transylvania 6-5000 - Does anyone remember this? It was fantastic. Jeff Goldblum stars as a dude who travels to Transylvannia for a story, but that's not really important. What's important is that this movie is completely silly and hilarious. They just don't make them like this anymore.

Haunted Honeymoon - Gene Wilder and Gilda Ratner star as a couple who honeymoon in a haunted castle (I think). Another horror/comedy that just cracked me up as a yute. I miss that Gilda Ratner.

It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown - Okay so this isn't quite a horror flick, but it is Halloween-themed, so it counts. I love the Peanuts features; they always make me so happy and sad at the same time. This one's an annual favorite.

And I'm Ready For Fall

2010-08-26T15:05:00.006-05:00

From head to toe

What I've Been Watching

2010-08-21T15:59:00.006-05:00

My Doctor

Dr. Who (reboot): Seasons 1 &2 - Revisting the first season with Christopher Eccleston, I've loved the initial episodes all over again, but I've also finally let go of my first doctor. He won't be back, so I've made my peace with David Tennant. Matt Smith is still on the outs though.

Being Human - I just love British television. It's grainy (which reignites my 70s and 80s nostalgia), tends to feature more black people than US offerings, and gets directly to the point with six-episode or so seasons (generally). This show, about a ghost, werewolf, and vampire attempting to cling to their humanity, is well done and not at all corny like you'd expect. Actually, it's kinda dark.

Scott Pilgrim vs. the World - Saw this one with the family on Friday. Really entertaining. Definitely in my top five of the summer. (Not hard considering this summer's offerings were pretty universally crap.)

The Expendables - Another family outing. This was required viewing for one who grew up on action (my mom is an action hound). Loved the 80s/early 90s explosion-laden, plot-lacking, big-dude-with-muscles action. Dolph Lundgren looks great.

Black Sunday & Bay of Blood AKA Twitch of the Death Nerve - I love my Italian horror, but sadly, had not explored the work of Mario Bava. Black Sunday was pretty standard to me, reminded me a lot of those old Corman movies with Vincent Price. Bay of Blood, on the other hand, was great. That beautiful coloring and cinematography with the signature Italian gore and atmosphere. This one also had a plot, which I am NOT used to. Seems like Bava, unlike my beloved Fulci, likes to pay attention to the story, too. Interesting that.

Venture Bros., Season 4.1 - Just amping myself for its return on September 12. It's my absolute favorite show on television, and I can't wait.

The Seven Doors of Death AKA The Beyond - People consider this Fulci's masterpiece, a successful union of his fondness for gore-heavy images and oneiric vision. I think a good many of his films succeed in this union, but I must say this one has one of the biggest WTF endings ever. Face-eating tarantulas, unexplained blindness, hydrochloric acid accidents, quicklime crucifixion punishments, time-space shifts, this film really does have it all. I watch it at least once a year.

(Do be aware that the former title usually refers to the edited US release except when released by Diamond Entertainment.)

Breaking Bad - Monica finally broke me. I succumbed to her constant rhapsodizing about how great this show is. I've only made it to season two, but she's right, it's pretty good. I'm still mildly freaked out about how much I'm gonna be destroyed when horrible things happen to my protagonist. It's bound to happen.

I Need Boots ... Again

2010-08-15T11:35:00.003-05:00

Preferably ankle height, brownish in tone, lined in lambswool or some other luxurious animal pelt, and comfortable.

Some ideas ...

I'm a little embarrassed to like this one, but it looks warm.

I'm a sucker for a disco wedge.

Mmmm.

I don't know.

Absolutely.

PAN-TEEZ and BRAWS

2010-07-31T16:43:00.021-05:00

DimitySO's Glum Pixie

Things go in cycles for me. One month I'm cuckoo for shoes, another I can't get enough of fabrics. This particular month finds me mooning over pretty lingerie, which is fortuitous since this is lingerie sale season.

I guess I'm also on this lingerie kick because I'm all of a sudden hyper-aware of just how wrong most women have it when it comes to their bra sizes. I get it, stores offer very limited selections and would have you believe that life stops at the d-cup (unless your band size is big) and that women with small backs have tiny breasts. It's not true. A d-cup is honest-to-God not big at all. As a matter of fact, I'd say the average cup size is d. Because I'm sure that most everyone's wearing the wrong bra size, I offer this advice:

You're wearing the wrong bra size if --

1. You have quadra-boob (the appearance of four boobs) or have "meat" hanging out the sides and/or bottom of your bra. Go up a cup size or two (34 d or dd instead of 34 c).

2. You can comfortably wear your new bra on the tightest hook. Go down a band size (32 d instead of 34 c. When you go up or down a band size, you must go down or up a cup size to maintain the same proportion of band to cup. A 30 e (ddd), 32 dd, 34 d, 36 c, 38 b, and 40 a roughly the same size.). New bras should fit best on the largest hook and progressively stretch over wear and time to fit on the smallest.

3. You can fit a fist or more (some say two fingers or more) in the back band. Go down band sizes. Your band is meant to provide most of the support, not the straps. If your band isn't firm, you are not being properly supported and may have back pain.

4. Your band rides up your back and is not completely horizontal. Go down band sizes. As mentioned above, the band should be comfortably snug, and not loose enough to ride up, to provide the best support.

Accept that you'll probably have to buy your bras online, in small lingerie boutiques, or at high-end departments stores once you've been properly fitted. The unfortunate thing about the US lingerie market is that 32-36 band sizes are very hard to find in cup sizes above d in most cases.

That said, there's some gorgeous stuff available if you look hard enough.

My favorite right now, this is Wacoal's Retro Chic. Comfortable and 50s-esque. Goes up to g-cup if you need it. I'd totally recommend buying more than one.

One of the best lines out there for small band, large cup seekers. Bright colors and gorgeous designs aplenty. They use a more European cut, so I find it's best to go up a cup size in most bras (a 32 f instead of 32 e.) Right now I'm in love with this Frankie style. I guess it's my thing for polka dots. Goes up to gg-cup.

Don't know why, but I just love this bra, Fantasie's Elodie. Maybe it's the grey and the embroidery and the lace, who knows? Another brand that usually runs small in the cup but accommodates the larger cupped. Goes up to h-cup.

Just gorgeous. This is Fauvre's Merissa. Another brand with a good reputation. A bit rich for my blood, but if I had the money, I'd be on it. Goes up to g.

Agent Provocateur is my La Perla. I love their lingerie, but there's no way I can pay two hundred bucks for a bra. Some day. This is Fenella. Isn't she pretty?

I'm not all frill and lace, I like the structural, geometric designs too. Once upon a time, you could find this Danish lingerie designer's line on Figleaves.com. One Christmas, I ordered the most perfect winter white, polka dotted set and waited with bated breath for it to arrive. It never did. Either the postman stole my booty or a neighbor got a free gift that year. To this day, I get pissed when I think about it. (Proof that Figleaves is fantastic. Even though they had a record for delivery, they refunded my money ... all of it.) Either way, this is Early Jet Set and Cartland.

Another specialist in large cups, Miss Mandalay. From left to right, Gigi and Paige. Once you could find this brand on figleaves, but not so much lately. Go to their website or try smaller lingerie boutiques.

A final note on places to buy pretty lingerie that fits: Figleaves.com, Barenecessities.com, BiggerBras.com, HerRoom.com.

2010-07-24T09:01:00.001-05:00

As some of you may know, I've fallen on some hard times in my quest to do a complete career makeover, and I'm kinda a ward of the State ...

food wise anyway.

As a person on a limited income, I still have a bit of food dignity. I'd like to eat delicious things that actually qualify as food. So today, my one day off from school, I make my food shopping rounds. I hit up the Trader Joe's. I hit up the Pete's Produce. I hit up the Aldi's. I hit up the Whole Foods ... and lose my fucking mind!

Look, I get the whole healthy, organic shit, but really? $23.99 a pound for meat? $9.00 for guacamole, made from the same avocados and tomatoes found anywhere else, that's half the price at Pete's? $7.99 for a small plastic container of chocolate-covered grahams? $30.00 for grocery-store sushi?!!!!

Get the eff outta here.

(On a very weird note, there was a randomly buff seven-year-old in the Whole Foods. Kid, what ARE your secrets? Another thing, almost everyone who works there looks like they were at Pitchfork, clammy, really moist, cut-off shorts, in need of a really good scrubbing. Our particular check-out guy was a snarky, scarfed fella whose style referenced gay San Fran in the 70s.)

Now I see why the befoodstamped fill their carts strictly at Aldi's and Ultra. Trying to feed your family on farm-raised bison steak and organic cherries will have the whole house looking real silly (and hungry) real quick. Ten boxes of Cheerios and random ground meats go a lot further. Lucky for me I'm childless and can afford to pout whilst stuffing my petulant little mouth with Greek yogurt and organic granola.

Man, times is hard.

Usher - OK

2010-04-27T19:53:00.000-05:00

I frickin' love this song.

Got My Netflix Wii Streaming Disc

2010-03-28T09:23:00.003-05:00

It came on friday. So far, it's pretty cool.

Formerly, I was using PlayOn with my Wii and Patriot Box Office (buggy in the latter case) in the bedroom and Boxee on my PC in the living room to stream Netflix movies.

The streaming disc beats the PlayOn interface hands down for a couple of reasons:

More control over the rewind/fast-forward functions. They actually work, are much faster, and allow you to move to points far along in the movie without hanging. Now the movie will rebuffer, but I'm not too bothered by that.

Your instant queue display is more attractive and, in most cases, more convenient. In PlayOn, you have to browse movie by movie, which is time consuming if your have a large queue. With the disc, the movies are displayed with a scrolling bar below them which allows you to go movie by movie or move from beginning to end quickly.

Navigation is quicker. You don't have to navigate through a million icons and folders to get to the movies. They're pretty much on the main screen.

You can browse movies that aren't in your queue. I thought you could do this with PlayOn, but people are listing this feature as something new, so I guess it must be.

Setup is very easy:

Pop the disc into your Wii and note the activation code.
Go to www.netflix.com/wii on your computer and login to your Netflix account.
Enter the activation code from your tv screen into the box in your Netflix account.
Done.

So far, so good. Go to www.netflix.com/wii if you need one. They're free and don't have to be sent back. Also, the selection is cool if you want to watch older movies/shows or wanna discovered a few gems here or there; hell, I haven't gotten an actual disc in the mail since April of last year. Happy streaming.

Bob & Harlan in a Threesome with Me

2010-03-27T14:32:00.006-05:00

Out there is a guy named Bob. He used to work at the Crow's Nest, had a tattoo or two (if I recall correctly), and a piercing or two as well. The accuracy of his physical description is not important here, as what Bob looked or looks like is not what this little recollection is about. It is, instead, about a book he placed in my hands one fine day by the name of Shatterday. The cover was ripped from the volume, but the pages were intact. And that night I went home and read what continues to be my favorite short story of all time, "Jeffty Is Five" and cried like a Holocaust survivor.

Bob simply wanted to share with me a writer that he found so imaginative and brilliant that he couldn't bear to keep him to himself. He couldn't know that I'd be sitting in my room roughly ten years later at my relatively ancient laptop typing through tears because I'd recalled some random memory of him handing me a ratty book. I'm so glad he did.

And here I am these ten years later, watching a documentary about said author, Mr. Harlan Ellison, and loving both him and Bob in equal measure because they've made my life that
much more interesting. Thanks, Bob and Harlan.

(Oh, Harlan Ellison: Dreams with Sharp Teeth is the documentary.)

Plan B Needed: Local Natives Rules

2010-03-22T18:18:00.002-05:00

I'm always late. The thing is I get to things when I feel like it. Well, I felt like some new music and stumbled across this band, Local Natives. Love them. So much I spent actual money buying their debut (under this name) album, Gorilla Manor, and went searching for concert tickets. Unfortunately, their May shows are already sold out, but there's hope.

Enjoy!

Sun Hands

Airplanes

Cecelia (cover)

Learn Something For Free!!!

2010-02-24T12:18:00.007-06:00

So, I've decided that in order to be happy, I simply must go back to school because I've completely remixed my career goals and am convinced that this one, the one I'm presently on, ain't it. (Oh, how I wish I'd come to these present realizations before the really expensive master's that's threatening to bankrupt me. Hey, you only live once!)

Now, in the thick of writing personal statements and filling out FAFSAs and attending info sessions and cutting checks for admissions applications, I've found myself taking inventory my abilities. You see, I'm going into engineering and we all know that engineers have to be solid on the math front. The problem is, the last time I took a math class was in the nineties. That's kind of a problem.

Enter the Internet and OpenCourseWare. There are schools, well-regarded ones, that offer online courses for the free. That's right, the free. Now I don't know about gaining credit and all that jive, but I do need some refresher courses, and this fits the bill like a money clip. Of these schools, MIT's offerings seem to be the most exhaustive. In addition to video lectures, they have sample projects, assignments, problem sets, tests with answers, and lecture notes, pretty much everything a real class would have.

Check it out.

(Adorable picture from TheBlackSpotBook's site on Etsy. Check out her adorable necklaces.)

Wii, Netflix, and You

2010-02-21T21:59:00.005-06:00

Bought a Wii to work out? (*snicker*)

Find that your Wii Fit board's getting a little dusty from disuse?

Stop kidding yourself and use the damned thing as Nintendo intended, to enjoy sitting on your ass.

I started my 14-day trial period using Media Mall's PlayOn software the other day, using it to stream Netflix, Hulu, and other online content through my Box Office. Unfortunately, the Box Office isn't one of the supported devices, so there is a lot of buggy behavior, particularly with Hulu and Netflix. Often, the files won't play, displaying an "invalid file" message instead. I have a Wii, though, and PlayOn just released a beta version of their software to use with the console, so I figured why not?

It was super easy.

1. Connect your Wii to your wireless network.

2. Download the free Wii Internet Channel

3. Enter 'playon.tv' into the browser (and save it as a favorite).

Assuming that you've installed PlayOn on your host computer and have it configured correctly, you can watch anything you want. Beyond Hulu, Netflix, and YouTube, there are plenty of plug-ins for other channels like Adult Swim, PBS, NBC, and more. I spent the better part of the day watching Modern Family and the '91 version of Dark Shadows.

The problem with this solution is that the Wii only supports resolutions up to 480p, and if you have a HDTV, you sure can tell. Supposedly, Netflix's Wii instant streaming disc (being released this Spring) will help this a bit, but 480p is 480p. Personally, sitting roughly six feet from my television, it doesn't bother me too much.

So yeah, it keeps getting better and better. With a mini-fridge, I may never have to leave my room again.

I Feel Kinda Guilty, But...

2010-02-19T21:50:00.006-06:00

1. Gucci Group's decision to keep the McQueen label alive despite the loss of his singular and unique creative mind is the dumbest decision in life. I get that Alexander had faith in his team and Gucci wants to continue building on the momentum the brand has gained, but no one is Alexander McQueen, has his mind, or can do what he does. Shut it down.

2. This may be a bit incendiary, but I think there should be strict segregation between the childless and child-having.

For a few months now the apartment below us has been vacant, which was fine with us. Just last week, however, some earnest brotha(ahhhh!) damn near sprinted up the stairs to greet Schmoses, I guess to initiate a preemptive strike for the bomb he was about to drop ... on our quiet, single, childless lives. So last night, in the middle of enjoying my swank media setup, I hear this bumping and running and screaming, sorta like an clan of blind dragons were break-dancing downstairs.

"What the hell is THIS?"

Turns out our new neighbors have a gaggle of loud, boisterous, perpetually moving children who like to scream and laugh at things, particularly at ten thirty at night. (Correct me, parents, but shouldn't your kids be in bed by this time?) It's terrible.

I don't have children and I don't want any, so CLEARLY I don't want to hear yours at all hours of the day (and night). And it's not like we can do anything about it. You can't tell parents to martial law their children into silence; they'll end up stupid and without spirit.

So here I am, in the apartment I thought was perfect, trapped.

Parents, if you have a shitload of kids, move into an unattached residence.

Thanks.

Stuff I Like

2010-02-17T18:36:00.011-06:00

1. I just watched Ratatouille. It was soooooooooooo good. I love being late cuz I get to enjoy things like they're new, without all the fanfare.

2. Television Zombies, a fun podcast that talks about shows I love and those I probably should.

3. Vampire Diaries! Because of the great people of Television Zombies, I started watching this show on Friday. Three days later, I had devoured all 14 aired episodes. This ish is great! Ian Somerhalder (Paul from Rules of Attraction [I don't watch Lost]) plays Damon, the bad vampire brother in this modern Dark Shadows-y mash-up of awesome and schmaltz. Love it and can't wait for it to resume in march. Chuck and Tina from TZ have a separate podcast for the show, Chuck and Tina Spread VD. It's pretty good.

4. Home Theater Solutions. You may recall this post where I muddle over the home media streaming options. Well I finally got off my indecisive duff and made some decisions. Instead of a wi-fi-enabled TV, I went the media player route. And while the WD Live is ubiquitous and attractive, the Patriot Box Office gets snaps for having a wider range of media file support, a hdd bay for storage, a vocal online community, and awesome customer support.

Since I don't have an ethernet line running to the bedroom, and media players have issues playing large HD files over a wireless network, I went with this, powerline networking. It's so convenient. Plug one into your router and the other into your device in any part of the house. Apparently you should make sure that both are on the same circuit. I guess mine are cuz this is working perfectly, no stuttering or dropped signals.

This is my media player. It's so awesome. It plays all my downloaded content, has good picture quality (file dependent, of course), and is small enough not to take up much space. Two issues: the UI is not that pretty and very basic and those running Windows 7 have to manually edit their registries to access files over a network. The first issue doesn't bother me much. The second took all of two minutes to solve. As I type, New Egg is sending a 120 GB laptop hard drive to install in this baby. That way I can store media directly on the device and enable the bit torrent option. Woo hoo!

Now the problem with having all these devices--cable box, media player, television--is the profusion of remotes. Now I looked into the Logitech Harmony thing, but 70 plus for a remote is ridiculous. Instead I chose this, the NXG NX-RM505, and based on the reviews, it may be just what I need. We'll see when it gets here.

So that's it.

Alexander McQueen is Dead

2010-02-11T10:22:00.006-06:00

I'm not sure that I have anything especially novel to say; it's just weird.

Over the years, my level of interest in fashion has waxed and waned, but a McQueen show was always something to look forward to.

A McQueen was always undoubtedly a McQueen.

Honestly, this is quite hard to believe.

There'll never be another McQueen show. It's just incredibly depressing to know that that mind will not create another thing. God, that's depressing.

(I don't care what anyone says, I loved the fall 07 collection.)

I Love Bad Movies

2010-01-31T18:43:00.005-06:00

A revelation after succumbing to Showtime's repeated airings of Twilight (which motivated my subsequent scrambling for the book, but that's something else).

I like compact, formulaic movies that get to the point, are overly earnest or are too on-the-nose. They get that entertainment is sometimes about fulfilling strict expectations in ways that are completely unsubtle.

Some really great bad movies

Death Race (actually, anything with Jason Statham. Many of his movies aren't bad.)

The House Bunny (Anna Faris is hi-larious.)

Halloween III: Season of the Witch (No Michael Myers. No problem.)

Shoot 'Em Up (Was this considered bad? I loved it.)

Double Dragon (It's so colorful, and Mark Dacascos is amazing.)

Teen Witch (Fantastic musical numbers. RIP Zelda Rubenstein.)

Killer Klowns From Outer Space (I think everyone knows I love this movie.)

Alligator People (50's fun)

Black Sheep (Just saw this one recently. It's a horror-comedy in the vein of Dead Alive and Bad Taste about killer sheep in New Zealand. It's like a werewolf movie but with sheep. It's fantastic.)

Nothing But Trouble (C'mon! It has Chevy Chase, John Candy, and Digital Underground!)

House by the Cemetery (Lucio Fulci has to make an appearance. His movies aren't for everybody. You have to appreciate movies with no plot, loose ends, and phantasmagoric gore to enjoy this.)

Femme Fatale (I'm a Brian DePalma fangirl, so yeah, loved it.)

It's ACTING!

2010-01-21T18:54:00.003-06:00

H. Jon Benjamin, tremendously talented, always hilarious. I do like this guy. He's voiced some of the greatest animated characters of the past ten years:

-Coach McGuirk, the sloppily lovable drunken soccer coach who dispensed advice and oozed creepiness. One of my favorite red heads.

-Master, Dr. Orpheus's shape-shifting sensai.

-Ben, Dr Katz's lazy but lovable son.

-Satan, Lucy's dad.

-Various hybrid creatures on Aqua Teen Hunger Force.

And no animate-o, but the can of vegetables in Wet, Hot American Summer was pretty hardy har too.

So now he's back with a new project, Archer. Now I saw the premiere way back when the fifth season of Sunny came back, but I wasn't feeling it at all. However, I feel as if I should give the Jon another chance. I mean ... I spent the last six years or so whining about the death of Home Movies. So yeah, Archer, tonight. It's going dooooooooooooooooooooooooooooown.

Teddy/I'm Tired

2010-01-13T23:13:00.003-06:00

I'm tired.

The rudeness, overwhelming lack of consideration, pride in stupidity, unwillingness to just shut the fuck up sometimes is making me think I'm on reality television. It seems people honestly do backhanded or inconsiderate shit just because. I can't understand that. Why go out of your way to annoy, hurt, spurn, injure someone? Why not just isolate yourself, keep it inside, scream in a field, or drink the evil away? I hope the people who moved me to want to punch a hole through their heads The Story of Ricky style are curled up in the fetal position sucking their thumbs being flogged by demons right now. That would satisfy the slightly vindictive asshole in me. Cry, BAYBEEE, CRY!!!!!!!

Okay. Enough with that sad sack shit.

Oh, wait. Teddy Pendergrass is in the ether. I ain't got nobody no more. You have no idea how many hours I spent growing up to him. My mom played "Love TKO" til the proverbial wheels fell off. Dude, losing your musical memories so often is exhausting. Peace to his family.

Technology!

2010-01-03T20:45:00.005-06:00

i've noticed that i have some followers. that's amazing. let me thank you all for entertaining my attempts at being entertaining.

moving on, my new semi-obsession is home entertainment technology. after snagging an old (free!) laptop from the j-o, i gained some knowledge, fixed it, and decided to trick out my home entertainment options. i bought a router and created a network and am now trying to figure out the best way to stream content from all computers to all televisions in the house.

the easiest way would be to cop (are we noticing all the mid-90s hip hop lingo? word? word.) the new wi-fi vizio. (vizio does mean value and all.) i just bought a new set, have two more months to return it, and the SV422XVT comes out this month. i could just return my set and pay the (very small) difference. it has a QWERTY bluetooth-enabled remote. have you seen it? crazy!

(thanks vizio.com)

of course i could just get an xbox 360 or playstation 3 and use either as a media extender, but i would never ever use them for gaming, so it seems like a waste.

there are other media extension options like the Western Digital TV Live device, which looks pretty sweet, but a cursory look at the reviews reveals unreliable software and a limited interface. plus, there's no netflix and my bedroom tv and computer aren't close enough to connect via cables.

what are my other options? any ideas out there?

_______________________________________________________________________

oh, and on the random tip (see!), let me implore you to consider costco, sam's club, or walmart for your hdtv purchases. they all have 90-day return policies and in addition, costco doubles the manufacturer's warranty and offers concierge service.

also, do not buy your hdmi cords in stores. they are ridiculously overpriced there. use monoprice or parts express for all your inexpensive but reliable cables needs. there's also meritline, but i've never ordered from them.

2010

2009-12-31T17:51:00.003-06:00

It's limited edition and oh so enjoyable.

I guess I would be amiss if I failed to observe a certain cultural tradition. Actually, I've missed a few, so Happy Thanksgiving, Merry Christmas, and (early on this one) Happy New Year.

Hopefully, you've enjoyed some good holiday programming (the Twilight Zone marathon on SciFi [I refuse to use the new spelling] or the Hitchcock marathon on TCM or the Masterpiece Mystery marathon on WTTW) or are preparing for a joyful night out.

Random fact: There's a full moon tonight. Supposedly, we won't have another on New Year's Eve for at least another 18 years.

Random thought: I finally watched the '05 Bleak House production. It was fantastic.

That's all I got. Make sure there are some black-eyed peas in the house.

Okay.

The Five Greatest Cartoons Ever

2009-12-01T13:00:00.004-06:00

1. Daria -- God! I loved this show. It was funny, poked very appropriate fun at the ridiculousness of high schoolers, and kinda perfectly captured that early-90s, "alternative" period that was a big chunk of my adolescence.

Favorite characters: Daria (of course), Trent, Mr. Morgendorffer

2. Home Movies -- One of the most consistently hilarious shows to have ever seen the light of day. Brendon Small and company remain some of the most endearing, ridiculous and memorable characters of all time. To this day, when I hear a character voiced by H. Jon Benjamin, I yell, "Hey, that's Coach McGuirk!" The music was pretty awesome. Also, Shannon is the greatest bully ever.

Favorite characters: Coach McGuirk, Brendon, Shannon, the gentle talk therapist, Walter & Perry. (I pretty much love every character here.)
3. The Venture Bros. -- I'm lamenting the lack of Brock Samson and mourning the loss of 24 on the latest season, but I still carry quite a torch for Rusty Venture and company. Love the whole parody of the superheroes milieu. Just plain funny.

Favorite characters: Brock Samson, Dr. Orpheus, the Monarch

4. Garfield and Friends -- Best theme song ever! (The first one.) Damn good Saturday morning cartooning here. Looking back, I'm surprised at the level of humor. This was a show for kids, but I still crack up thinking about the general wackyness.

Favorite characters: Garfield, Pooky, Binky the Clown

5. Laff-A-Lympics -- Everyone watched Hanna Barbera cartoons. Everyone. And when HB decided to put all their stars together, it got that much more exciting.

Atrack's Movies of the Year (So Far)

2009-11-30T15:01:00.004-06:00

Don't go thinking this is some scholarly statement on the cinema. I like popcorn movies for the most part, things that are quickly-paced or fun to watch or just not depressing. I don't see sad movies or Oscar fodder. The last time I accidentally saw one of those meditations on the human experience, I was depressed for a week and had horrible nightmares. No, no way to those. Plus, I don't think it's fair that best of lists are usually dominated by the serious films. Poo poo to that.

In no particular order

1.Drag Me To Hell - Sam Raimi took a break from the super blockbuster and returned to his splatter, horror-comedy roots. Totally worked for me.

2. Coraline - The type of children's story I love--dark, intelligent, and rich. Reminds me of my Roald Dahl-reading days as a youth. The 3-D experience made this one even better. Gorgeous movie. Please see it.

3. The Hangover - Not perfect, but pretty consistently funny if you like dumb-ass humor and slightly offensive shtick. That Galifianakis is a hilarious dude.

4. Taken - Just straight ass kicking. Liam Neeson karate chopped the shit out of people's throats and made good on all sorts of threats. That little daughter could've been a little more grateful.

5. Zombieland - I like zombies and Woody Harrelson. *shrug*

Honorable Mention: I really liked GI Joe, Star Trek, and District 9 too.

Also, I've kinda dropped the ball. I haven't seen Ninja Assassin, 9, The Fantastic Mr. Fox, Where the Wild Things Are, or Moon yet. I'm pretty sure my list will completely change once I catch up.

Decoupage, My Dear: Ikea's Malm Gets an Update

2009-11-16T10:03:00.007-06:00

I'm still in the process of decorating my room.

Bought a Malm cuz it had the most decoupage potential.

so this (Ikea's Malm)

plus this (Mod Podge in matte)

plus this (Snow & Graham's wrapping paper)

equals this (my very own decoupaged dresser). Ignore the wires!

There are clearly some issues with the pattern and a few bubbles here and there, but in all I love it. Just one more step toward making my room the overstuffed, way-too-colorful, cozy place I want it to be.

Zenni Optical, Three out of Three

2009-11-02T20:27:00.006-06:00

First I got these.

Then these.

Now, I have these (in purple). I love them.

On the Site

In Real Life

I'm really loving this cheap frames from China racket. I can get a frame in every color and style and not feel too bad about it.

Zenni's been getting a bad rep lately for slower shipping. I think that period might be over, as I got these in two weeks. Sounds like a long time, but remember they had to grind my lenses, assemble my glasses, and ship from China. Not bad at all.

Now that I'm all brave and shit, I'm scoping out this new place, Eyewear Magic. Peep.

I've always wanted a red frame.

I'm a sucker for rhinestoned frames.

Every Week It's Mystery Meat

2009-10-27T11:08:00.003-05:00

I got a Wii and a Wii Fit system for my birthday, and I'm trying.

I don't know, that long period of relaxation I experienced last year, the one with the Hot Doug's orgies and television marathons, padded my areas. And now when I dress for work I look obscene, like I purposefully bought my pants two sizes too small. (I just bit into a Krispee Kreme. It's really good. Focus!)

So I'm trying to lose weight a different way. The gym isn't for me. Too much work--getting there, changing clothes, using machines--as I said, too much work. Instead, I'm going it the Wii route, and I'm fixing my lunch for work, and I'm limiting my midnight snacking.

We'll see.

Thoughts From a Maxwell Concert

2009-10-08T23:19:00.004-05:00

1. Men should NOT encourage their girlfriends to see this man in concert. He's like a shimmying, hormone-inducing cult leader, even when hoarse.

2. The non-work black man uniform: V-neck (in a daring but safe color), button up, trendy jeans, brown square-toed shoes, and Donny Hathaway hat. If said black man is under thirty it's probably just trendy jeans and t-shirt with all kinds of color.

3. There are some seriously unfortunate outfits out there. Ladies, I'm looking at you.

4. Despite my non allegiance to religion, I'm pretty puritanical.

5. GET A ROOM!!!!! The couple next to me kept tonguing each other down and making noises and standing up just so the dude could violently grope the girl's behind. Jesus Christ! I'm trying to watch a concert here!

6. Once upon a time, I really, really loved hip hop. (Thanks, Common, for the reminder, and I understand that you're too mature to do your old stuff.)

7. The amount of chatter between a couple is inversely proportional to how long they've been together.

Remember That Sci-Fi Reading Challenge?

2009-07-12T09:56:00.007-05:00

I couldn't find my edition, so here's
my second-favorite cover.

You know, this one. Needless to say, I haven't been "on it"; however, I have been reading. I finished The Stars, Like Dust, a book in Asimov's Galactic series. I finished The Cat Who Walks Through Walls, a later novel by Heinlein that led nowhere really. Most recently, I finished The Einstein Intersection after putting it off for months (sorry, Natalie).

Samuel Delany, what the fuck?!?!!! I must say, being a fan of the sci-fi and fantasy genres, I'm pretty used to weirdness, but this shit took the cake, digested it, and shat it out again. Honestly, I don't even know what it meant. I get that there was a retelling of the Orpheus/Eurydice myth, some allusion, and a pretty straight forward epic hero's journey tale. That's it. I can't tell you the point or the lesson. I'm mad lost. More power to those who get Delany. I'm not one of them. (You know, maybe Delany isn't meant to be read this way. I'll consider that if I ever read him again.)

Next, I wanna introduce myself to more contemporary authors, Neal Stephenson and his latest Anathem to be exact, but that book is 960 pages!!! Dude, I haven't done a book that long since The Fountainhead. Not sure I can do it.

Anyway, if you read and are remotely interested in what I'm reading, catch me on goodreads.com.

What MJ's Death Teaches Us/ R.I.P. Mike

2009-06-25T20:44:00.004-05:00

Look, I don't pretend to really know Micheal Jackson, but being a 30-year-old whose earliest musical memories were saturated with his glittery gloves and moonwalk and mega hits, it does feel some kind of way to have an icon this big gone.

I don't know what plagued Mike. I don't know why he chose to live his life as he did. As a result, I can't really speak with any type of authority on his motivations. I do feel safe, however, in saying that he seemed to be plagued by what our Judeo-Christian society usually identifies as "demons." Hell, his life certainly looked painful and lonely from the outside. All I can do is say "skip it" (edited for the children) and prance through this trying life with a beatific smile on my face just because. If I look like Charlie during the denouement of Flowers for Algernon, so be it. I'm not letting this world drive me to an early grave.

So what am I saying? I know my message-y post screams incoherent through the six pack of eisbocks I'm drinking. Well, I suppose I'm saying a little selfishness isn't so bad all the time. And I suppose that if you're a cross-dressing fella with a penchant for shiny black Louboutins, you shouldn't be ashamed of that. I'm a heathen. I don't believe in reboots, reincarnation or heavenly rewards. Enjoy what you can now cuz living for other folks won't make you any happier; it'll just give you a heart attack and allow people you probably don't like to spout some comforting lies at your funeral.

Now, to my musical appreciation. Some of Mike's finest moments. (And yes, I did buy the Invincible album; i got the orange cover, so there! I'm a bigger fan than you.)

"I Can't Help It"

"Baby Be Mine" -- My favorite song by him ever!

"Butterflies"

"Man in the Mirror" Monica and I wrote a parody of this in 5th grade.

"Shake Your Body (Down to the Ground)" The fam and I used to dance like hell to this 12" in the crib.

"Big Boy" The beginning.

Back in the Saddle Again

2009-06-07T13:00:00.005-05:00

A quick update on my summer movie viewing and return to sewing

See It
Drag Me to Hell
Star Trek
Tyson

Eh
X-Men Origins: Wolverine
Terminator Salvation

Don't Bother
Night at the Museum: Battle of the Smithsonian

Next Up
The Limits of Control (Isaach De Bankole is back!)
Up
The Hangover
Public Enemies
Land of the Lost
Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen

Also, The Deadliest Warrior provides some serious entertainment. This show pits historical bad-assess against each other and simulates battles in order to determine who'd be victorious. The season's over, but that means you have plenty of time to catch up. Sure, the simulations will probably upset you at times (I'm still mad that the ninja fell to the Spartan and the Yakuza to the Mafia), but the concept alone is worthy of a few viewings.

Finally, I've been sewing again. Check out Knit Deez for updates.

SHOES!!!

2009-03-18T11:47:00.005-05:00

Spring's a-comin' ... in two more months or so. Here in Chicago, we're on that short yellow bus schedule.

Anyway, I'm all about a new opportunity to buy shoes that may or may not be worn. Thankfully, some of my guilt will this time be assuaged by my affinity for an earth-conscious collection. Terra Plana, with an eco-sustainable approach, allows me to feel that I'm actually helping the earth by buying shoes.

Note: I own a pair of Terra Planas, and they are ridiculously comfortable. The rubber soles are great too.

Melito

Juniper

Geta

Dida

Melito

Tertia

Not Biting, But They're Chewing On Something

2009-03-17T20:02:00.002-05:00

Remember when Chico (DeBarge) got out of jail back in '96, '97 and dropped Long Time, No See? Yeah, I was geeked, for all of the usual chick reasons. After cutting that Flock of Seagulls bouffant and gaining that young jail body, he was foine, so I bought the album. (I did things like that. How do you think I became an Eric Benet fan?)

Anyway, revisiting that album today got me thinking again about musical influences. Ain't nothing wrong with 'em. We all absorb influences, ideas, thoughts from somewhere. Sometimes, though, the influence is so strong you can't help but hear a legend being regurgitated by a newbie. Por ejemplo,

That entire Long Time, No See album should be entitled I Love You Marvin Gaye: Troubleman/Let's Get It On Part Deux. Tell me I'm wrong.

"Trouble Man" - Marvin Gaye

"Love Still Good" - Chico DeBarge

And Rahsaan Patterson? Clearly a huuuuuuuuge Chaka Khan fan.

"We Got Each Other" - Chaka Khan

"Get Here" - Rahsaan Patterson

I love Raheem DeVaughn to pieces (pieces!!!), but that latter half of Love Behind The Melody was straight Marvin too.

"Distant Lover" - Marvin Gaye

"Desire" - Raheem DeVaughn

That's it.

Oh, I saw Coraline in 3D today. Really good.

Bebe Zahara Benet

2009-03-12T21:27:00.004-05:00

Just in case you didn't know, Bebe Zahara Benet is more fierce than you.

Do yourself a favor. If you're not watching RuPaul's Drag Race, go on over to LOGO and rectify that situation. Okay?
***********************************************************************************

Dial M For Murder was pretty good. I guess that weak-assed Gwyneth Paltrow vehicle The Perfect Murder was supposed to pay homage, huh? For shame. At least it had Viggo Mortensen.

Hitchcock

2009-03-11T20:52:00.003-05:00

You know, I'm surprised there hasn't been any serious porn exploiting this guy's name. I mean ... Hitchcock. Yeah.

Anyway, one of my favorite directors, blah, blah, blah. Love his movies, doody doo. Since I'm on this hiatus from life, I figured I'd watch all the Hitchcock I haven't seen. (See? That sentence makes me feel dirty. *shudder*)

Seen
Spellbound - Many a day in undergrad spent watching this one. Gregory Peck was a looker. Good movie, but the inferior version of Marnie in my opinion.
Marnie - Severely underrated. Perhaps my favorite. No one plays beautiful and dangerous ice queen like Tippi Hedren. Sean Connery did some horrid, horrid things in this, but my was he smmoth with it.
The Birds - Creepy and fantastic. In the top five.
Vertigo - Jimmy Stewart's my favorite Hitchcock leading man.
Psycho - Honestly, who hasn't seen this? Way to milk the franchise, greedy hollywood.
Frenzy - Surprisingly violent and disturbing, which means I loved it.
Rope - Another underrated piece featuring the man, Jimmy Stewart.
Shadow of a Doubt - Good stuff, man. Uncle Charlie was just plain bogus.
The Trouble with Harry - Hilarious. Who knew a corpse (that's not reanimated) could be so much fun?
Rear Window - Part of the cultural fabric. How many parodies of this one have you seen?

Kinda Seen, meaning was on TV as I did other stuff and intermittently paid attention.
North by Northwest - I do like Cary Grant. So smooth, that one.
Torn Curtain - Starring the most attractive white man the white world has ever offered, Paul Newman.

Seeing Soon - I came up at the Walmart a few months back. Twenty Hitchcock movies--mostly the older ones, including the first version of "The Man Who Knew Too Much," four discs in total--for only five bucks. This is what I got, a frickin' steal.
Dial M For Murder - Watching it tonight.
The Lady Vanishes
The 39 Steps
Strangers on a Train

Watching The Watchmen

2009-03-08T11:36:00.005-05:00

first off, the book and the movie are two different vehicles. read it. say it aloud. accept it as truth. also, this is not a proper review, more so me trying to work out my feelings about the movie. no spoilers, so feel free to read it.

my feelings about this movie are complicated because i can't be sure if i liked it or not. the director, zack snyder, was obviously intent on remaining true to the source material, and it shows. most of the visuals and dialogue were snatched directly from the pages of the novel, with few, very few, exceptions. as i watched, i knew what each scene would look like, sound like, as panels from the novel appeared in exact succession with characters saying nearly exactly what they say on page. after a while, i was left feeling no anticipation, just expectation. i can't say that this is the director's fault. i was the one, after all, who decided to read the darned thing, but i think there's a useful discussion in here somewhere about the merits of risk taking in film adaptation. despite snyder's near perfect reverence for the text, i almost found his need to simply provide a slide show of the text somewhat dull, without risk and boring.

it wasn't all bad, though. often i found myself remarking aloud about the beauty of the film. it was gorgeous in many places, and sometimes, the faithfulness of the adaptation was exactly what was called for. mr. manhattan's famous exile, for example, was beautiful. i found myself nearly as arrested by the film's rendering of it as i was by its textual counterpart. entertaining, too, were the fights. the violence was particularly graphic, so much so that my mom, brother, and i often found ourselves gritting our teeth. it was strange in a way, the stillness of the film juxtaposed with the brutality of its fight scenes. i figured snyder was attempting to satiate watchers who would be bothered by the lethargic pace of the film.

another problem was a few of the casting choices. i flat out disliked the actress playing laurie/silk spectre II; she was annoying and wasn't talented enough to give the character any depth. laurie was my least favorite in the novel, too, but a good actress should bring something to the table. what REALLY annoyed me was the choice for ozymandias. this guy and his character are so integral to the plot that his less-than-stellar acting was seriously lowered the quality of the film. though he is regarded from a distance as golden, in addition to his intellect and physical prowess, adrian veldt is likeable and radiates a personality that draws people in. i did not get this from matthew goode at all. in fact, i found him pompous, stiff, and unsympathetic. jude law probably would've been the better choice.

jackie earle haley as rorschach was perfect. seriously, every time he appeared on screen, things picked up again and you finally found yourself feeling any sort of kinship or sympathy for a character. jeffrey dean morgan (bizarro robert downey jr.) was also good as the comedian.

fans won't be satisfied if they're looking for the same amount of depth in character development, allegory, and themes. there just isn't enough time, but i do think that the idea of self-chosen superheroes, regular people who have chosen this burden for one reason or another, is interestingly handled and results in a movie that is beautiful and provocative. a better movie, one that is all those things AND entertaining would've needed more editing, a better pace, and a much better cast; however, i'm glad i saw it.

Getting My La Pasadita On

2009-03-05T20:06:00.011-06:00

I used to have a tradition called Hot Dog Fridays that featured Hot Doug's. That eventually evolved into Taco Fridays featuring La Pasadita.

Tonight, I wanted to revisit those times and attempted to emulate La Pasadita's taco. It definitely wasn't the same, but it was damn tasty.

Word to the wise, do not attempt to drink eisbocks and be functional. Those joints are mad strong (and delicious).

Also, tomorrow I'm getting my left arm all kinds of illustrated, and I'm having doubts. Unfortunately, the sugar cube was dropped, leaving room for the robot parts, cheeseburger, and stick of butter only. Apparently, this whole exercise will take about 20 hours. Yay?

Watchmen tomorrow.

WOOOOOooooOOOOO/Sci Fi Reading

2009-03-04T17:42:00.006-06:00

Remember this post about my tour through sci fi classics? I haven't forgot. I'm just lazy. So far, I've waded through three and a half short stories, two of which I'd already read, and one-half a graphic novel.

"The Veldt" & "Zero Hour"/Ray Bradbury - I'd read both of these before, more than once as a matter of fact. Luckily, I'm on borderline Alzheimer's status, so I enjoyed them as if they were new. Also, I had luckily kept The Illustrated Man, the book in which they appeared, checked out on October 16, 1989 from The Ray School library. That's right, while you were playing and having fun, I was stealing books from school libraries. I'm BAD!

Both stories deal with the private worlds of children and their potential dangerousness when left unattended or ignored. Bradbury's writing has always struck me as very sensitive and lyrical. His description of scenery is so vibrant, characters so seemingly realsitic (even his Martians in The Martian Chronicles are "normal") that you often forget that you're reading fantastical tales. Both are recommended, fun tales that aren't mindblowing but are entertaining.

"Nightfall"/Isaac Asimov - I don't know how I've never read this one. Pure Asimov, an interesting concept brought to life through well-written dialogue and an incredible use of tension/suspense. No spoilers: The story centers on the concept of a planet bathed in sunlight as the result of having multiple suns, a once millennial eclipse, and the effects of darkness on a people who have never experienced it. Incredible story. Read it!

In the middle of Heinlein's "The Roads Must Roll."

Started The Watchmen last night in anticipation of Friday's movie debut. Got half way through. So far, it's busy but compelling, if only because I want to see how the characters' threads and the many asides come together.

In Fatter News ...

2009-03-02T20:42:00.006-06:00

I'm slowly reverting back to my former habits. This morning I made waffles (approximately seven of them), and this evening I made chocolate chip cookies. I'm gonna stop fighting it; I was meant to have high LDL levels and intermittent chest pains from all the fat I consume.

For Schmoe Diggla's Mama's birthday, we hit Chi-Tung. People were dangerously close to food coma.

See? Jimmy has collapsed over his cookie.

My delicious fruit punch backwash remains untouched cuz I have
approximately 14 pounds of food in my stomach.

However, the random Asian food gods have some good news for me.
Perhaps they refer to a cholesterol test.

To keep the fat fattening, I plan on having a pepper crusted steak and a potato gratin tomorrow. That means I'll have meat, potatoes, and cream for dinner. Mmm ... food.

I guess this is a good enough space to make a random Alton Brown allusion. "Oh, bother."

Also, there are some bloggers out there doing wonderful things for food. Thank you.
Coconut & Lime
Closet Cooking - singlehandedly responsible for my love of orange root vegetables with blue cheese.
101 Cookbooks
Orthogonal Thought

Finally, the Fat Boys had it all figured out:

It's Been Over, But ...

2009-02-22T22:15:00.005-06:00

I formally ended my flirtation with vegetarianism last Wednesday, but I failed to post my last meal, a spinach pie with pearled barley pilaf. Both were delicious and pretty adorable. Take a gander:

Catch me in about a week when I retool my diet to include a lot less butter and cream. Until then, strictly fashion, sci fi, and music.

Sci Fi Wednesday - (Veggie DAY NINE)

2009-02-11T15:40:00.004-06:00

Nothing to report on the food front today; I'm eating leftovers for lunch and egg salad for dinner.

I'm more so in the mood for science fiction. Yesterday, while out enjoying the 60 degree weather, I finally read "All You Zombies" by Robert Heinlein. Tomorrow, I'm attending my first Think Galactic book club meeting. I hope it goes well. This morning, there was a Friday the 13th - The Series marathon on. Despite my penury, I'm feeling pretty great. The universe is randomly making my life a bed of fluffy, buttered rolls right now.

Now despite my love for the sci fi genre, I'm not exactly well read. (I've never finished Dune!!!) I have favorite authors, books, stories, and I reread them, over and over. It's really hard for me to step outside of my preferences and give new people/stories a chance, so I've decide to embark on a reading tour of the genre, entitled "WOOOOOooooOOOOO..." (Imagine my hands waving in front of your eyes in a menacing manner.)

This is the most accessible list of sci fi short stories on the web, so I shall go by this. Of the 100, I've only read 14, which leaves me 86 (Square one!!!!!). I can do this y'all. Since I still have to finish the book for tomorrow's meeting and read The Watchmen before the movie premiere, I'm not starting til Friday. Update then.

(Anybody wanna do this with me? Just drop a line.)

Let me take the time, though, to extoll the virtues of "Jeffty Is Five." It is an amazing, amazing short story. The kind of thing that forces you to care about the characters, and finds you cursing at the pages. Good stuff.

Spaghetti in Mushroom & Spinach Cream Sauce - DAY EIGHT (?)

2009-02-10T18:49:00.006-06:00

Let's make this quick. I spent the day out canoodling, so I had very little time or energy to prepare a meal. Pasta is always quick, and with a little care, tasty. So ...

Spaghetti in Mushroom & Spinach Cream Sauce
about 3 oz dry whole wheat spaghetti (1/4 box)
2 tbsp unsalted butter
2 tbsp extra virgin olive oil
3 tbsp flour
about 3 cups milk or half & half
1/4 cup mushrooms, sliced
2 cups spinach, drained
garlic
nutmeg, to taste
black pepper, to taste
salt, to taste
Parmesan cheese

Boil the spaghetti until al dente. Drain.

Sweat the mushrooms in olive oil and butter until soft. Add garlic and flour. Mix until lumps have disappeared. Slowly add milk and stir over low heat until the butter/flour paste disappears and sauce is smooth. Add spinach and season with nutmeg, pepper, and salt to taste. Mix with spaghetti, garnish with Parmesan, and eat.

I'm telling you. Bechamel is your best friend. With it, you can customize a pasta dish, start a soup, or create a casserole. There is no reason to ever buy a premade sauce when you can make your own in under ten minutes. It may seem fattening, but consider the awful crap you consume outside the house on a normal day. Horrible, right? Plus, it's only one meal.

Sweet Dumpling Squash w/ Gorgonzola & Creamed Spinach - DAY SEVEN

2009-02-09T16:43:00.011-06:00

I was good over the weekend, rest assured. Even though I kicked it with the fam, I avoided meat, even when my order was messed up, and I was brought a big plate of beefy goodness. Anyway, on to the matter at hand.

I got the idea for the squash recipe from Kevin over at Closet Cooking. I'm a lot lazier than he is, so there was no way I was peeling and cubing anything. Instead I just baked it and covered it in cheese.

Sweet Dumpling Squash w/ Gorgonzola Cheese

1 Sweet Dumpling Squash
Gorgonzola cheese, crumbled
salt
pepper
olive oil

Preheat oven to 350. Wash squash, cut in half, and scoop out seeds. (Be careful; these things are tough and you can lose fingers.) Sprinkle with olive oil, salt, and pepper. Bake in 350 degree oven until soft, about 30 minutes. Remove from oven, sprinkle with cheese and return to heat until cheese is melted. That's it.

Very tasty, this squash may take the place of my favorite orange food, sweet potato. Loving the sweetness of the squash with the sourness/saltiness of the cheese.

Creamed Spinach

Spinach ( I have no idea of how to express this in a measurement, enough for two people)
1/2 medium onion, diced
1/2 clove garlic, diced
1 tbsp extra virgin olive oil
1 tbsp cream cheese
1 tbsp sour cream
pepper
Adobo, salt, or other such seasoning

Unfortunately, I started with fresh spinach, so I had to wash and wash until it was clean. Fresh, frozen or otherwise, make sure your spinach is drained; however a bit of water is fine as it helps create the sauce.

Sweat onion in olive oil. Once it's become transparent, add garlic and spinach. After spinach wilts (fresh) or warms (frozen), add cream cheese and sour cream. Stir until cream cheese melts and is combined with sour cream. Season to taste and remove from heat. You're done.

Love this meal. Obviously, I'm unable to eat without cream being involved. So what? There are vegetables here, and, for the first time, some real color. Commend me, dammit! That other side dish you see is my spicy brown rice from last week. Still going strong, still tasty.

I also made some banana bread. One loaf for me (with chocolate chips and walnuts), and one for Schmoe Diggla (with chocolate chips only). If you're interested in the recipe I used, go here. I follow the recipe pretty closely with a few exceptions: I use half whole wheat pastry flour, half unbleached AP flour; I use butter-flavored shortening; I cut the sugar down by 75 percent; and I cut the recipe in half for two small loaves.

Audi/Outtie 5000

Broccoli Mushroom Pie and Spicy Brown Rice - DAY THREE

2009-02-05T19:53:00.007-06:00

So I failed yesterday. Messing with my mother will have you full of beefy pork juice. However, I managed to get away with fishy poultry. (Not together, but I'm sayin'.) So today, I was back on track. I'm noticing a theme, though. My food tends to be beige as hell, which means I'm still working on getting color (read: vegetables) into my diet. Anyway ...

mushroom and broccoli pie ("we're chopping bra-co-lieeee!!!")

1 bag frozen broccoli (thawed or use fresh) 1 scallion, chopped about 10 medium mushroom, sliced about 1 cup cheeses (i used trader joe's quattro formaggio, white cheddar, and sharp yellow cheddar) 4 tbsp olive oil 4 tbsp whole wheat flour (i use pastry, white is fine too) garlic some milk (about 1 1/2-2 cups) fresh ground pepper garlic salt

crust--if you have them, you can use canned biscuits instead
1 cup flour (i use half wheat, half white)
5 tbsp butter (chilled and cubed)
1/2 tsp garlic powder
1 tsp baking powder
1/4 tsp salt
1/2 c boiling water

preheat oven to 425 degrees.

place thawed broccoli in 8x8 baking dish. saute mushrooms and scallions in olive oil. once they've softened, add garlic. add flour and stir until lumps disappear. add milk slowly, stopping when the sauce has thickened to your taste. (it'll take a minute for the sauce to thicken; take it slowly.) add cheeses and stir until melted. season to taste, and pour over broccoli.

meanwhile, mix flour, salt, garlic powder, and baking powder. cut chilled butter into flour mixture until mixture develops pretty uniform crumbs. pour in boiling water and stir just until everything in moist. scoop dough over broccoli slop.

bake in oven for about 30 minutes or until dough browns. (i find that i have to cover until the last ten minutes of cooking so that it doesn't get too brown. it's up to you.)

absolutely delicious. one of my favorites so far.

slightly caribbean rice (aka alton brown's recipe with some stuff added)

1 1/2 c short grain brown rice
1 14 oz can coconut milk ( i used light)
3/4 c broth
1 bay leaf red pepper flakes to taste
curry powder (i didn't measure, use your discretion)
you can use salt but, i'm trying this bragg stuff out (liquid amino acids)

preheat oven to 350 degrees. pour rice into baking dish. bring broth and coconut milk to simmer. add bay leaf, red pepper, and curry powder. pour milk mixture over rice, stir, cover with foil, and bake in oven until all liquid is absorbed (about 40 minutes).

a few notes:
aldi's steamed veggies in a tray are phenomenal. low in sodium, easy to prepare, cheap, and tasty as sin. go thee to the nearest aldi and stock up. (get the spring blend.)

my old people's cake from yesterday was a big hit. i'll be making it again, as i really enjoyed it myself.

MUSHROOM RISOTTO - DAY TWO

2009-02-03T20:53:00.008-06:00

This isn't so hard. Meat can be easily avoided. I've had an epiphany, though. So far, I'm more of a starchatarian than a vegetarian. Most of my meals are rice- or pasta-based. Working veggies in is really gonna be a problem.

Anyway, tonight I made my first risotto. I used a super short grain Spanish rice, and what a mistake. If you ever make a risotto, please use arborio or carnaroli. Your palette will thank you. It still turned out tasty; it just didn't have that signature creaminess.

Recipe (For one large portion or two small ones)
about 2 oz. fresh mushrooms, sliced
2 tbsp extra virgin olive oil
1/2 c risotto rice
1 scallion, diced
1/2 clove garlic, diced
3 tbsp white wine
2-3 c stock (i used chicken. it was homemade. i rule.)
butter, unsalted
salt and pepper to taste
Parmesan, fresh

bring stock up to simmer and keep it there. cook mushrooms in one tbsp olive oil until soft and remove from heat. sweat scallion in remaining olive oil until transparent and add garlic and rice. when rice is thoroughly coated in oil and slightly transparent (about two minutes), add wine and stir until absorbed. now, add chicken stock in small portions (about 1/4 cup), only adding more after previous portion is absorbed. keep stirring. in about 20 minutes or so, you should have a creamy, al dente rice dish. stir in mushrooms, remove from heat, stir in a bit of butter, and season with salt and pepper. garnish with freshly grated parmesan and voilà.

as i said, it was tasty, but next time i'll use Italian short grain. oh, and i must also commend myself on making my own chicken stock. it was mad easy and kills any other stock i've ever had. i just threw a whole chicken in a pot with a halved onion, celery stalks, fresh rosemay, bay leaf, tyme, and sage, covered them in cold water, and boiled for about three hours. after being strained, it was ready to go. people may tell you to get rid of the fat, but i have some very lofty plans for it once this vegetarianism is over.

in other news, tomorrow's my daddy's birthday. i'll be kicking it with the fam tomorrow, and was given the task of making the birthday cake. since my dad is kinda weird in his tastes and probably wouldn't have liked my signature chocolate fudge cake, i made him an applesauce spice cake with cream cheese frosting and walnuts. hopefully, it will get eaten. after all, this is totally an old people's cake.

until tomorrow

Vegetarianism - Day One (Kinda)

2009-02-02T19:26:00.005-06:00

Quick explanation -- I eat way too much red meat and pork. Once upon a time, I had stopped, but when I moved back in with my mommy after college, she refused to remember my no red meat/pork rules; plus her boyfriend made THE most delicious rib tips ever, so I failed. Well here it is, years later, and I pop bacon cheeseburgers like tic tacs. The other day, I stepped on the scale and realized that I weigh more than I ever have in my life; additionally, I can comfortably fit into less than 20% of my clothes, so I figured a quick detour into vegetarianism would help. Two weeks of tasty (?) recipes, plenty of water, and back breaking Pilates, join me on my quest to ... FIT BACK INTO MY GEAR!!!!! What's in it for you? Well, recipes, of course, and the potential to share in my triumph or watch me fail miserably.

DAY ONE -
Okay, so I had tuna for lunch, but I made it on Sunday as a farewell-to-flesh meal and was too full to eat it, so I polished it off today. However, breakfast and dinner were both vegetarian as hell.

I had the most fabulous pasta at Enoteca Roma once, pear ravioli with walnut cream sauce and Gorgonzola cheese. Since then, I've been trying to replicate that taste at home. Tonight, I tried whole wheat spaghetti with walnut cream sauce and pears. (I find spaghetti and like pastas are pretty much the only palatable whole wheat varieties; the other ones are too big and interfere with the sauces.) Anyway, my experiment paid off. It was definitely good, but certainly not low-fat, just low-meat.

Recipe
cooked whole wheat spaghetti (enough for two portions)
handful of walnuts (toasted and chopped)
3 tbsp unsalted butter
2 tbsp flour (I used whole wheat pastry flour)
1-2 cups milk or half and half ( I used both and didn't measure, just add until the consistency of the sauce suits your taste)
white wine
1 bosc pear (cored and cubed, you can use any sweet variety)
Nutmeg (again, I didn't measure, maybe 1/2 tsp)
garlic salt
Directions
This is pretty easy. Toast the walnuts either in a pan or in the oven and chop. I use a mini food chopper. Set aside.

Saute the pears over medium heat in one tablespoon of butter until they're slightly brown and add as much white wine as you like to taste. Let the alcohol cook off some and set the pears aside.

Make a Béchamel sauce by slowly melting the remaining butter and adding the flour to form a smooth paste. Make sure the lumps are gone. Add milk and stir until you reach your desired consistency and add your seasonings. Once the sauce is seasoned well, stir in the walnuts, pears and spaghetti.

Bon Appétit

(From now on, I'll try to take pictures of my meals before I gobble them down.)

Summer Wishes

2009-01-30T11:06:00.003-06:00

Summer will be here in approximately five months. By then, hopefully I'll be 1) decently in shape, 2) en route to some relaxing locale, and 3) owner of this ridiculously adorable swimsuit.

Tagged - 16 Random Things

2009-01-28T10:26:00.006-06:00

I was tagged by long-winded Nicholas. There's no use pretending I'm too good for putting my business in the streets; I love these things.

1.

I am obsessed with genitalia. HEAR ME OUT!!! Not in a sexual way, just in a scientific way. I have countless books on sex determination/behavior, ambiguous genitalia, and hermaphrodism and wonder with each person I meet if they were born with indeterminate sex organs. I mean, it's pretty common (one child in 100), so someone I know has to be on Jamie Lee Curtis status. I'd love to talk with them about it. I guess it's because I grew up the only girl and became acutely aware of how differently boys and girls are socialized. Plus, I've never bought that this random assignation of sex could really explain the huge gulf between men and women. I suppose I'm more of a nuturist. If I could redo my life, I'd change my major and travel the globe doing field research and writing about genitals. (Way to start with a bang, eh?)

2.

I love eating. It really has to be life's greatest pleasure. The variety of tastes and textures and flavor combinations available to the palette is mind boggling. I wish to taste as much stuff as I can before I die of diabetes and stroke and heart attack. (Bugs do not count, even if some of them do taste like Tutti-Frutti.) For this reason, I really want to try human meat. I don't know how this will happen, but if some shifty, clearly terrible human being dies or some willing participant donates his or her body to culinary science, I'll be there with fork and barbecue sauce in hand. Don't judge me.

3.

I've been told this a number of times, have mentioned it a number of times, and plan on executing it in tattoo form in a few months, but I really feel a kinship with robots. One of my favorite books is I, Robot by Isaac Asimov. Sometimes, I just don't feel the things I'm supposed to feel. If only therapy were cheap enough for me to afford it.

4.

I have shitloads of gray hair (and a filthy mouth to match)!

5.

I hate Oscar-bait and sad movies in general. My mom was reading through the Oscar (Golden Globe?) picks and asked why we hadn't seen any. I responded, “I hate crying.” Dude, I go to the movies to escape from sad-ass life through kung fu and car chases and shit-talking heroes. Screw that sappy, glaringly realistic, introspective shit.

6.

I once had an amazingly country accent. I discovered this while viewing a dusty VHS tape of myself at eight or six or something. I wonder what happened to it? Did other kids shame me into getting rid of it? It sucks because I spoke to some Alabama fam over Christmas and she said, “Querida, you sound like such a white girl.” Great.

7.

Up until the age of 25 or so, my dreams were exceedingly gory and disturbing. I mean, blood and dismembered body parts all over the place. I was constantly being chased by cult leaders and vampires and large monkeys and all manner of creepy personages. True, I watched a lot of horror as a kid, but wtf? I finally started “dreaming” like a real person in my late-twenties. It's so boring now.

8.

My memory is terrible, like scary, early-onset Alzheimer's terrible. I once walked past my aunt on the street, looked her dead in the face and kept walking, not because I wanted to avoid her but because she simply didn't register. I can't recall simple details like what I wore or ate yesterday or anything before the age of, say, eight. I honestly think I've suffered some brain damage somewhere.

9.

People who know me know this, but I really wasn't allowed to play outside when I was a kid. It was me and my Legos® and my silver portable radio and my brown plastic turntable. Sometimes I could sit on the porch and read, but that's about it. No wonder my social skills are horrible.

10.

People tend to think I'm bitchy and mean, and while it doesn't really bother me, it is inaccurate. I'm just really reserved and easily annoyed. Actually, I'm quite pleasant and dislike conflict.

11.

Consequently, I find it really hard to hate people. I can conjure up some dislike, but for the most part it always dissipates in a few weeks if not a few days. It's not that I don't find some people hateable, but I just don't have the time, attention span, or energy. Go over there ----> with that.

12.

I can be objective about great cinema, but really, what's messing with Killer Klowns From Outer Space?

13.

I get Aretha and all, but Patti LaBelle is way iller. Period.

14.

I've always wondered what it would be like to be a dominatrix. A less uptight me would've found out by now.

15.

There are exactly five varieties of empty beer and one half bottle of vodka in my bedroom as I type. I am not an alcoholic. Seriously. I've had that bottle of vodka since November of 2005.

16.

Finally, uhhh... let's see...yes! About two years ago I was bald, like dude bald, and I wanted so badly to rock the ill Bobby Brown side part, but I was too chicken. Oh well.

This goes out to a few folks:
Monica - Because she loves these things. Right? Plus, I wanna know something I don't know.
My Brother Jimmy - Cause he types fast, and I wanna learn something about him.
Daniel - Because he's ridiculously interesting.
The Bakers (this counts as three)- Cause we family.
Rachel - Because I we haven't really communicated since she went back to Italy.
Danny - Because we fam, but I I don't know this grown version of him with the tattoos and rhapsodizing on women.
Chanda - Because you're awesome.
Ben - Because he "rocks the sweet daddy long fox minks." Not really, but he would.
Natalie - Because it'll be good to hear what's behind the "camera face."
Joanna - Because I haven't seen her in years, but think she's fabulous.
Eugene - Because he has great taste in movies.
Quentin - Because I want to know what my brother's up to. (You don't check your page at all, do you?)
Lakeiya - Because I missed you at Christmas, but you're hella busy, aren't you.
Andrew - Because you're hilarious and would undoubtedly make my day.

Wuthering Heights - The Hate Sure Is Strong

2009-01-26T18:20:00.011-06:00

So ... last night marked the end of the latest adaptation of Wuthering Heights, another ITV version. Though no one has yet been able to find a non-white dude to play Heathcliff, and the pace was a bit too brisk, I enjoyed it. As with anything else I enjoy, I found myself yelling at the screen, especially at Edgar and Isabella's dumb asses. So yeah, it was good; I'll watch it again.

Now I love the hell out of this book, which is why I keep hoping for the definitive adaptation, but it chaps my hide when people think of it as romantic. This is not a romantic story; it's a great Gothic tale, full of horrible, terrible, stupid people, with a bit of redemption at the end. I'm more amazed by than attracted to Heathcliff's character, as I am by all insanely passionate people. He was able to sustain dangerous amounts of hate for decades (DECADES!) and killed people with it. He's like a super, extra archvillain--Haterman or something. I supposed chicks think his unyielding love for Cathy is especially sentimental, but they kinda forget that he vowed to make her suffer for it. And Cathy (the elder), she had no problem fraternizing with another man while married and actively pursues vengeance on her husband for decisions she, herself, made. Edgar and Isabella are spineless dolts (good people, but dumb as rocks regardless). The whole thing is a mess, a wonderful, terrifying mess. The lesson is, kiddies, hate destroys. If you find yourself wanting to damn people to hell, go see a movie, have a delicious burger, or seek therapy. It just isn't worth it.

Random Comments
-Tom Hardy did a pretty good job. I bought his vengeance, and I see why chicks dig him.
- That scene with Heathcliff cradling Cathy's skeleton? Beautiful, just wonderfully sick and fantastic!
-Charlotte Riley looked fantastic as Cathy and was much less annoying than Juliette Binoche.
-Cathy (the elder) needed to be much more of an asshole. She came off as a somewhat decent person, which she wasn't.
-Love Actually (the one who was in love with Kiera Knightly)was in it; he played Edgar Linton.
-I seriously dislike the Ralph Fiennes/Juliette Binoche version.

A fantastic deconstruction of our protagonists' psyches.

And now another satisfyingly creepy interpretation of Wuthering Heights. Go Kate Bush!

Download It

Oh yeah, I updated Knit Deez ... finally.

Welcome, Mr. President

2009-01-20T12:54:00.002-06:00

Nothing to say. These tunes say it all.

"Watch Roger Do His Thing" - Main Source

Download It

"Brother's Gonna Work It Out" - Willie Hutch

Download It

"What a Difference a Day Makes" - Dinah Washington

Download It

"Can You Feel It?" - Fat Boys

Download It

Wreckonize - Smif N Wessun

Download It

Mantastic!

2009-01-19T20:10:00.015-06:00

It's Milan Fashion Week, and while I usually don't care about the men's shows, I must applaud Gianfranco Ferré, Alexander McQueen, and Moschino for making menswear something I can actually covet.

Gianfranco Ferré

Finally, a respectable funnel neck for dudes. Yes, fellas, I know you've been sitting at home, Vogue Hommes in one hand, shopping list in the other thinking, "I've finally found the perfect pant--slim-cut, slightly metallic, grazing my ever-so-perfect buttocks in just the right way, but where, damn you, are the funnel-necked coats?" Here, my manly men. Gianfranco has your backs.

Alexander McQueen

Allow me to script a bit more internal dialogue for you, fellas.

"I've been working on my abs ever so diligently, but I don't quite have that Jesus-on-the-cross definition that I've been working for." It's fine, McQueen figured he'd give them to you in leather. THANK THE MAN!

Also, that plaid suit is amazing. I only wish that I can one day own such a thing.

Moschino

While there's nothing quite so boundary pushing about Moschino's offering for the fellas, these are some seriously well-tailored suits. I'd like to think that if Hercule Poirot were taller and younger (oh, and real), he'd wear these. I do love a man in a v-necked sweater or waist coat.

Remembered Songs (The Gospel Edition)

2009-01-18T10:34:00.005-06:00

It's Sunday morning, and I can't leave my house for fear that the church-goers will steal my cushy parking spot. Once upon a time I was church-going folk, waking up at the crack of dawn to slip into uncomfortable clothes and stockings to get on a cold school bus to be annoyed by all but a few of my fellow busriders to end up at Calvary Baptist Church for Sunday school and service. I never really had my weekends to myself, and now that I'm older, I avoid church like the plague. However, I do miss those delicious pancake breakfasts. (I have never had a pancake so fluffy and buttery as the ones served for Sunday school breakfast. And those grits!!!!! People let me tell ya.) Oh, and the bus ride. Despite strongly disliking more than a few of my companions, there were a few people whom I enjoyed. We'd sing all sorts of secular devil music on the ride to church and later cut Sunday school to go to KFC. See? I was meant for straight sinnin'. Lastly, though, I miss the singing. That was always the redemptive part of having my Sunday morning ruined, those sweet, sweet tunes of redemption and admittance and weakness. Every once in a while, I like to pretend that I'm at church here at home, and I play a few tunes to carrry me back to those moments on the pew when I soaked up just a bit of spirit.

"Silver and Gold" - Kirk Franklin and the Family

"This Little Light of Mine" - Random Dudes in Washington Sq. Park

"The Old Rugged Cross" - Caravans (Loleatta Holloway on lead)

"Peace Be Still" - The Emotions

"Sinnerman" - Nina Simone

"Expect Your Miracle" - The Clark Sisters

Forgotten Songs (The Funky Version)

2009-01-14T14:47:00.004-06:00

I've been in this funk/r&b hybrid phase for a few months. I figured I'd share some lesser known (maybe) songs from a few artists we all know and possibly love. That's my intro.

"Watching You," "Just a Touch of Love," we all know these songs. Some of us even hate them. (Me! I hate them.) Stone Love, Slave's 1980 album, however, was damn near perfect. "Dreamin'" is perfect. I haven't been able to go a single 24 hour period without bursting out into song with this one. Enjoy.

When Steve Arrington left Slave, I imagine people were worried. I speculate only because I was too young to care. He had hits, one being "Way Out," which, in all fairness, did get play. The problem is that I don't hear it enough, not nearly as much as "Weak in the Knees," so in my opinion it's forgotten. Pure retarded funk exuberance.

Most people knew "The Deele before Babyface went solo." Most people know "Two Occasions" and "Shoot 'Em Up Movies," but "Let No One Separate Us" suffers from relative obscurity. Poppycock! While this may not be a funk song, The Deele were funky, so it counts.

"Don't Disturb This Groove" -- The System. I'll wait while you count how many times you've heard this song in your life. Now count how many times you've heard "Lollipops and Everything." Whatever the number, I'm pretty sure it's a travesty. Here, enjoy some thinly- veiled innuendo for sex.

Now, I'm a huge fan of this woman. My mom played "I Want To Thank You" hundreds of times during my childhood, but Alicia Myers is more than that. She's "Appreciation" and "You Get The Best From Me (Say, Say, Say)" and these two songs --"Just Can't Stay Away" and "Don't Stop What You're Doin'."


Just Can't Stay Away


Don't Stop What You're Doin'

Finally, there's Yarbrough & Peoples' "Guilty," a song I hunted down for years. I have a Tapemaster cassette of me singing my little seven year-old heart out to this. Note: I hate "Don't Stop the Music" more than I can ever express. This song, on the other hand, is adorably funky.

Tit for TATTS!!!!

2009-01-13T00:32:00.004-06:00

Nope, the title makes no sense. Moving on.

So, I've already broken in my dermis with one absolutely ridiculous tattoo--a dancing bacon man. Now, I feel I need to take the next step--tattoomania. I've decided that my right arm (above the elbow) and shoulder blade should be covered in sweet, delicious ink. Now, I was gonna get a food motif--a cannibalistic cheeseburger, an obese stick of butter with fangs, and a sugar cube on an IV, my favorite foods depicting what will become of me if I keep it up. (We keep it hella cheerful here at fatmeatisgreasy.) Then, I felt I should get a robot tattoo of some sort, since I've always been accused by various exes of being one (and kinda love the shit out of them). However, I got the feeling that these things wouldn't "match." If I was gonna cover a specific part of my body in inks and patterns, I figured said inks should make some sort of sense. So, after much discussion with Schmoe Diggla, I've decided on a thematic layout--an open wound that both exposes my robotic innards and bleeds food products. That's right, you've read correctly, I'm completely bat shit. Yay me!

I've found some inspirational photos on the net that will serve as loose templates for my work. Feast your eyes folks.

First, the wound exposing circuitry. It should be something like this:

Photo credits here go to www.sepiamutiny.com/sepia/AnilGuptaRobot.jpg and http://free-tattoodesign.blogspot.com/2007/10/machine-tattoo-designs.html respectively. (Please let me know if you'd like me to remove your pictures.)

I can't really find photos of the individual items I'll have spilling from the wound since they're kinda kooky, but put yourself in the mind of the angry veggies featured in this link.

So, yeah. I have heart burn from all the crap I just ate, so it's definitely time for bed.

Feelin Low, Homies

2009-01-08T22:26:00.004-06:00

It's winter, which doesn't bode well at all for sustained elation; however, I'm feeling a bit lower than usual. It sucks. (Yes, yes, I know that my incredible talent for truly expressing the depths of my soul is astounding. No autographs please.)

No need to focus on the negative. Life is all about denial and delusions and repressing true emotions in favor of transitory, fleeting joys that follow you, sneering, to your death bed. In an effort to avoid self-reflection, I choose:

1. Turkey Burgers - Thank you, colleague, for your delicious, heavily-seasoned and onioned turkey burgers. Smothered in Sweet Baby Ray's, these have me too itised to care about any clouds that may be following me.

2. Venture Bros. - Thank you, Adult Swim, for introducing me to such a delightful diversion. Brock Samson is so unapologetically masculine and violent, it's hard not to feel joy when he snaps the necks of gangs of ninja henchmen. (Adult Swim, I do have a bone to pick with you, though. The lineup used to be golden--Robot Chicken, Venture Bros., Metalocalypse, Home Movies?--perfection. Now you're showing crappy shows that I refuse to give a chance. Please, do better.)

3. These Shoes - Roger Viviers, so beautiful, so worthy of sin. Plaid and platformed, you are all the things I'd sell children on the black market for.

Happy New Year

2009-01-04T13:06:00.008-06:00

Note the lack of appropriate exclamation. It's a new year, sure, but these arbitrary distinctions in time don't really excite me, especially since nothing has really changed for me.

Ha! Ha! (Mood change.)

No need to be all Eeyore in this piece.

So, just to kick things off all proper like, I figure I'd address those who apparently read this blog but do not comment. Thanks for reading ... really. It's good to know that Monica isn't the only one.

Next, a quick movie review. The fam and I saw The Spirit, which was godawful. I got the comedic turn on film noir; however, it was so poorly done that there were very few redemptive qualities. I mean, the characters were so flat as to appear wooden. The dialogue was stiffer than Ron Jeremy at an outdoor orgy. Oh yeah, the cinematography was pretty great to my untutored eyes, and Scarlett Johansson's wardrobe was pretty boss, but that's it. Other than that, wait for it to come OnDemand, if then. Sorry, Gabriel Macht, no star turn for you.

Finally, the jury is in. I'm 30, which means I need to stop being delusional about my core self. I hate parties. I do not enjoy the company of large throngs of strangers (unless, of course, we've come together for the mutual appreciation of some music act). My idea of "going out" is eating. That's it. Take my rapacious ass to a restaurant of some sort, place me in front of a platter of edibles, and get back. That, my dears, is what life is about, chasing diabetes and blood pressure. In honor of this recognition, I spent half of New Year's Eve enjoying the comforts of slightly hoity-toity foods with my like-minded buddies. For only 40 bucks, we feasted on chicken livers mousse, trout roe blinis, Sicilian tuna, seafood bouillabaisse, young chicken with chestnuts, chocolate date cakes, and honey panna cottas. It was all delicious. If in Chicago, check out The Bristol on 2152 N. Damen; I hear they have brunch, which I'm thoroughly looking forward to. I then went to a party, where I quickly retreated into an empty room to play cards then went out for more food. Ain't nothing like a BLT at three in the morning.

Blinis and chicken liver mousse

Sicilian Tuna

Chocolate Date Pudding Cake and Chestnut Honey Panna Cotta

Top 25 Voices Ever - Finale

2008-12-23T10:18:00.010-06:00

We have, my dears, reached the end of the road. In this final stretch, let me remind you that this list is completely subjective, and I don't care for your opinions. Great! Let's do this.

6. Phyllis Hyman - Loved, LOVED, Phyllis's voice. It's a hackneyed expression, but the woman was/is seriously underrated. She could sing anything, was absolutely gorgeous, and hilarious as hell--what more could you ever want in a woman? Unfortunately, as is the case with some of our best voices, her material was often inconsistent. Fortunately, that voice could carry some of the most marginal material.

"Be One"

"Loving You - Losing You"

"Betcha By Golly Wow"

5. Anita Baker - Old mush mouth herself. I'm telling you, the Midwest breeds some serious talent. Please, don't be in the car with me if/when "Been So Long" comes on. I will sing this song from beginning to end, scats and all, LOUDLY, and will not give a tinkler's damn. She was it in the 80s/early-90s, one of those artists whose material will automatically grant or deny "black points." I mean it, think back to the post-Saturday morning cartoon house clean, what was your mother playing? Yep, Old Nita here.

"Summertime (Live)"

"Been So Long"

"Angel"

4. Bobby Blue Bland - The voice of the blues, my dears. That is all. The man's voice in its prime was a magical amalgamation of bitter tears, alcoholic evenings, and pre-Keith Sweat pleading. Unlike most of my musical heroes, I actually saw him in concert. Granted he was at least 70, and I seriously feared for his health when he did his trademark chortle-snort, but I was in the presence of greatness. Nevermind that I was the youngest person there. (Really great Salon.com article linked; read it.)

"Little Boy Blue"

"If You're Gonna Walk on My Love"

"Jelly Jelly Jelly"

3. Patti LaBelle - If I were capable of idolizing people, I'd be all over the Patti thing. No one puts on a show like her. Sure, she'll be dipped to the high heavens, but she has a job to do and those stilettos will come flying off when things get truly serious. Patti will sing anybody under a table, and she doesn't even mean to. She's just doing her. Patti ain't no punk, y'all, for real.

"Over the Rainbow (Live)" -YouTube link because you have to see it.

"Walk Around Heaven All Day"

"You Are My Friend"

2. Sam Cooke - I'm pretty sure I don't have to explain this, and again, Chicago runs this. (Just in case you didn't know.)

"Nothing Can Change This Love"

"Lord, Remember Me" w/ Soul Stirrers

1. Donny Hathaway - You do not know how interested (obsessed) I was with this man's music some years back. I'm not creepy. I just wanted everyone to understand how great he was, that's all. Plus, he was a fellow Libra. Plus, he was a Chicagoan. Plus, his voice could conjure up sadnesses you didn't even know you had. Plus, you can't go a Christmas without hearing at least one of his songs. (Note: New singers, stop remaking "This Christmas"; you sound terrible.) Reader, if you're out there, I need you to know that Donny is more than "Giving Up" and "A Song For You" and "This Christmas"; there's a whole world of Donny that you're missing out on. For that reason, I'm gonna include more than my standard three audio files cuz I expect somebody somewhere needs some schooling.

"Come Back Charleston Blue" w/ Margie Joseph

"He Ain't Heavy, He's My Brother"

"I (Who Have Nothing)" w/ Roberta Flack

"I Love You More Than You'll Ever Know (Live)"

"Sack Full of Dreams (Live)"

And that's it. I'm done.

Top 25 Voices Ever (Con't)

2008-12-22T10:59:00.007-06:00

After a short intermission I'm back with the latest installment of ...

TOP 25 VOICES EVER!!!!!!!

12. David Ruffin - Real weird coincidences here. He had two brothers named Quincy and Jimmy. So do I. His sister's name is Rita Mae. That's my nickname Down South. Just weird. Anyway, Leon sure showed out in that miniseries, huh? Well I guess you'd have reason to as well if you were playing THE voice of the Temptations (okay, ONE of THE voices cuz Paul Williams and Dennis Edwards could blow). I don't know what it is about talented people and "demons." Perhaps we like to make them even more special by considering their tragic stories extraordinary; after all, there are plenty of regular folk with demons too. Whatever, the voice was just plain undeniable, and for a few years he was hot as sin.

"(I Know) I'm Losing You"

"Somebody Stole My Dream"

"I Don't Know Why I Love You"

11. Cassietta George - Another Midwest entry, a Chicagoan in fact. A legendary member of the legendary Caravanas (who incidentally pretty much introduced the world to almost every major gospel star of the 60s-80s-Shirley Caesar, Albertina Walker, Dorothy Norwood, James Cleveland, and that ain't even the half). So revered, in fact, that I want her version of "Walk Around Heaven All Day" to play at my funeral. I don't know, every time I hear her voice I feel so connected to my Baptist upbringing. I just throw up my hands and do the "gospel snatch". RIP Cassietta.

"Walk Around Heaven All Day"

"I'm Ready to Serve the Lord" w/ The Caravans

"Honor Honor"

10. Al Green - Let me get this out of the way. I think Al Green is creepy, a real weird dude--strangely upbeat and kinda vacant in the eyes; however, dude has pipes, so he must be honored. Teamed up with Willie Mitchell (who strangely reminds of me of my grandma), he's made some of the most memorable tunes of all time. Hearing them, you just think of grits and beige-colored kitchens and love.

"Jesus is Waiting (Soul Train -Live)"

"I'm Glad You're Mine"

"Simply Beautiful"

9. Luther Vandross - Oh, Luther. I'm still pissed about his death and often find it difficult to believe. This man is responsible for one of my top five R&B albums of all time (Never Too Much), one of my favorite Aretha tunes ever ("Jump to It"), and millions of births. I'll never forget where I was when I found out, The Chicago Taste, at the ticket booth. Within minutes my age advanced about 30 years and I exclaimed, "Looord! Not Luther!!!!" Yeah.

"You Stopped Loving Me"

"Make Me a Believer"

"I Can Make It Better"

8. Sarah Vaughan - I spent so many days of my youth trying to sing like this woman. I swear, she has the most beautiful voice. Her version of "Misty"? Flawless. Sassy was the woman. I remember Donnie Simpson's interview with her right before she died. I recall being so surprised that this tobacco-voiced, feisty woman was the same one who sang "The Man I Love." I decided then to like her even more. I love my women tough.

"Have You Met Miss Jones?"

"Shulie a Bop"

"Stormy Weather"

7. Dinah Washington - Another woman I'd put against your Ellas and Billies. I'm not quite sure about the amount of adoration she receives, but I feel it's not enough. You don't hear her name mentioned with Billie Holiday's and Ella Fitzgerald's, and that's plain ridiculous. Have you heard this woman's voice? It was dumb great, like John Woo choreography and perfectly edited curses and Giuseppe Zanottis--forbidden, dangerous things so beautiful you have to pay attention. Plus, she reps both Alabama and Chicago, need I say more?

"Sometimes I'm Happy"

"Back Water Blues"

"Long John Blues"

All I Want For Christmas

2008-12-16T18:28:00.010-06:00

Needless to say, I'm a needy girl, meaning I need tons of shit in my closet to feel alright. Unfortunately, Ms. Atrack is on the broker side of things this Christmas, so supply is definitely not meeting demand. Let's pretend, though, that I actually had a mess of funds and could buy whatever I wished. Well, things would look a little something like ...

Moncler Georgia - This Moncler thing is becoming an addiction. For years, I shied away from the goose down coat for fear of reliving the school-aged days of the Triple Fat Goose and looking puffy. These, however, are gorgeous, well-fitting, and much too expensive. I need an Italian connection.

It's a bit cliche to like Prada, but seriously, the fall shoe collection is almost always some covetous pulchritude.

Chie Mihara Saigon Bow Boot - Chie Mihara is still my girl. Now that she's all popular and cavorting with the likes of Saks and Nordstrom, there'd be reason to believe she'd drop the ball. Not so. This boot is a beauty, and the line is still mad comfortable.

Mackage Nissa - Another favorite, Mackage, maker of all things stylish and warm redefining the puffer silhouette. Made for Canadian winters, this is perfect for a Chicago girl looking to avoid a case of the winter uglies. (Other Chicagoans, take note. Blue or black Sears parkas are not the move.)

Look From London Feather Tight - I love tights ... and feathers. This chick's shoes are a problem, but let's just focus on the tights.

Jeffrey Campbell Biz Bootie - It has been hell trying to find a short boot that isn't the run-of-the-mill cuffed or fold over stiletto look that's so popular nowadays. This is how it's done.

Gar-de Dolly Jacket - Animals are special in so many ways. They taste delicious, and they make wonderful things like metallic leathers with outrageously gorgeous details. Thank you, furry/leathery friends.

John Fluevog Helen - Fluevog has some of the most well-made and comfortable shoes around. If you ever find a sale on any pair, buy them. They're worth every penny.

Fifth Avenue Shoe Repair Zip Glove - Last season, I fell in love with a pair of Burberry zippered, croc, opera length gloves and couldn't, of course, afford them. These somehow fill the empty space that was left by my penury.

Cinnamon Skirt (Modcloth) - The tulip skirt done correctly.

Top 25 Voices Ever (Con't)

2008-12-11T12:43:00.009-06:00

18. Z.Z. Hill - Another one of those voices from barbecues and family gatherings. Raspy, bluesy, and just right. Unfortunately Arziel died too soon to capitalize on his vocal gifts.

Down Home Blues (THE Version)

Everybody Knows About My Good Thing

Let's Make a Deal

17. Angela Winbush - Will there be a louder woman on this list? Save for one, I doubt it. Angie's levels of loudness surely surpass your favorite singer's, and it works. Who can forget her fierce sequined body suits from the 80s and the haircut all black mothers (including Claire Huxtable) had in the late-80s/early-90s?

Angel

Your Smile

I'll Never Be The Same

16. Regina Belle - I don't know what the people's problem is. Folks (that includes you) are straight narcoleptic on Regina's rawness. That voice? C'mon! She can do jazzy, straight R&B, cheesy Disney, what else do you want? Plus, she looks fantastic nowadays. I love it when people age well.

So Many Tears

Show Me the Way

Baby Come To Me

15. Chaka Khan - Okay, maybe save two cuz Chaka is definitely in contention for loudest woman (hell, person) ever, but again, she can sang. You can't just be loud, you have to be able to control it. This Ms. Khan does.

Love Has Fallen on Me

We Got Each Other

Stop on By w/ Rufus (Bobby Womack wrote it!)

14. Gladys Knight - Another voice of velvety gravy and oyster dressing and other aptly symbolic foods. (And on another episode of When Fat Girls Get Literary ....) Gladys isn't as big as Aretha 'nem and that's a shame cuz unlike some others she hasn't lost that voice at all.

The Makings of You

If I Were Your Woman

Love Overboard

13. El DeBarge - This is kinda blasphemous cuz El is meant to represent the ultimate male falsetto on this list, and I know somebody's gonna go, "Phillip Bailey? Eddie Kendricks?" Yeah, I know, I know, but this is MY list, and I do what I want! Now, Bobby could've easily been here instead, but let's face it, El is more of my contemporary. These days, I can't listen to him without becoming a little sad. All that talent. Poor baby. (Okay, I'm including a Bobby DeBarge song, too. I just can't leave him out. Also, if you're out there and have the Gemini album by El, hook me up.)

Time Will Reveal

Where Is My Love?

Secret Garden w/ Quincy Jones, Al B. Sure, James Ingram & Barry White

I Wanna Be Closer (Bobby DeBarge w/ Switch)

Top 25 Voices Ever

2008-12-10T14:16:00.002-06:00

In this flaccid, useless period I'm currently existing in, I've had time to think about doing lots of things--knitting sweaters, alphabetizing my CDs, rearranging the furniture in my bedroom--fun, constructive things like that. Unfortunately, the more idle I am, the lazier I get, as evidenced by my recent purchase of bottled water to save me from descending stairs for refreshment. (Sad, so very sad.)

Despite my hatred for all things metabolically challenging, I have done plenty of music downloading and listening (all legal, I swear *fingers crossed*) and have come to some small epiphanies regarding my taste. My weird dispassion for Marvin Gaye, Minnie Riperton, and others of that ilk? Explained away by my recent tide of music acquisitions. Let me walk you through it.

Despite my current heathenry, I grew up in the Baptist church and was impressed with some pretty strong musical memories. Sitting in the pulpit (for hours--both for Sunday school and regular service) was one hell of a job, but the choir almost always redeemed the whole exercise; the sense of communal belonging, submitting together to our imperfections before some larger being and, for a moment, without ego, is something I miss. I simply don't have that type of community around me anymore. It makes plenty of sense, then, since I'm super nostalgic anyway, that I would miss those sounds now that I have little access to them. All of this to say I love churchy sounding folks---the burly, stout church-sounding folks, the ones that remind me of those buttery pancake and sugary grits Sunday school breakfasts. This is why I prefer Donnie Hathaway over Marvin Gaye and Millie Jackson over Minnie Riperton; their sounds are so much more raw and earnest, so much closer to the sounds I remember from those long-ass hours in church as a child.

Often these folks go unsung (check your local listings for a pretty awesome four-part miniseries on Donny Hathaway, Phyllis Hyman, The Clark Sisters, and Debarge on TV One), so I thought I'd take some time to appreciate my top 25 voices in music, take a little of my space to give them the accolades they deserve and to expose my two or three readers to them. Enjoy.

To start, in no particular order, we have:

25. Johnnie Taylor - I've gone on and on about him on this blog, and in some ways, he doesn't really belong here since he's been a successful artist. However, he's not a household name and that is simply not acceptable, so it doesn't really hurt. From taking over lead duties after Sam Cooke left the Soul Stirrers to his early millennium hit about a broke and stranded woman at the casino (Hi, Mom!), this mans voice turned almost everything he sang into straight platinum. I still regret never seeing him live. (It almost happened. I was supposed to see him at the 2000 Blues Fest, but he died of a heart attack soon before.)

Who's Making Love

What About My Love

When the Gates Swing Open w/ The Soul Stirrers

24. Meli'sa Morgan - I still don't get the apostrophe. Melly-suh? Whatever. This woman helped define my early tastes, those that were my own and not just an extension of my parents'. Sorry, y'all, I do prefer her version of "Do Me Baby."

Do Me Baby

Fool's Paradise (Extended Version)

Love Changes w/ Kashif

23. Rachelle Ferrell - Homegirl can just sing, for no reason, retarded notes and shit. It's ridiculous. I'd always liked her, especially the early-90s material, but once I saw her at the African Festival of the Arts some years back, it was solidified.

Nothing Has Ever Felt Like This w/ Will Downing

You Don't Know What Love Is

Til You Come Back Me

22. Sharon Bryant - I have always wanted her voice. I mean, Barbara Weathers can sing and everything, but Sharon led the Atlantic Starr I love most. Too bad that solo career didn't work out too well.

When Love Calls (Atlantic Starr)

Circles (Atlantic Starr)

Am I Dreaming? (Atlantic Starr)

21. Lou Rawls - My fellow Chicagoan had a voice like chocolate fudge, rich and oh so satisfying (take that, take that, take that!). My dad always sang "Tobacco Road" when I was a youngin', but "You'll Never Find" was, of course, the song. His back up vocals on Sam Cooke's "Bring it on Home to Me" didn't hurt either.

Bring it on Home to Me w/ Sam Cooke

Southside Blues/Tobacco Road

You'll Never Find Another Love Like Mine

20. Bobby Womack - Not just a singer, but a writer, producer, and session player. Another alumnus of The Soul Stirrers and responsible for my favorite Rufus/Chaka Khan song.

I'm in Love

Across 110th Street

California Dreamin' (Live)

19. Rahsaan Patterson - Rahsaan Patterson loves Chaka Khan. This is evident. However, that does not change the fact dude got some serious go. See him live and tell me otherwise. He'll stand on stage with a drink in one hand, a cigarette in the other, and show off.

It Ain't Love

Street Life

Where You Are (Silk's Old School Mix)

To Be Continued

Free Bras and Panties!!!!

2008-12-09T16:41:00.004-06:00

Okay, not really free but damn near.

I just spent $47.35 and got six (6!) bras and 19 pairs of underwear! The least expensive bra was $2.50. That's just crazy.

I know what you're thinking, "They probably ain't got nothing in my size," cuz I know you think in double negatives. Nope, I wear an odd size and had a pretty good selection available to me. Plus, Figleaves.com is renown for carrying every size imaginable, from 28As to 56FFs (I did not make those sizes up). There are reviews aplenty to let you know the quality and fit of products, and they have a pretty lax return policy this time of year.

Run, girl, run! You know that trifling quadraboob effect ain't cute.

Tagged

2008-12-07T11:58:00.006-06:00

1. Put your music player on shuffle.
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS!
4. Tag 10 friends who might enjoy doing the game as well as the person you got the game from.

1. IF SOMEONE SAYS "IS THIS OKAY" YOU SAY?
"Making Love in the Rain" - Herb Albert f/ Janet Jackson
Apparently the person asking is a john and I'm ... well, unemployment is really tough, okay! Don't judge me!

2. WHAT WOULD BEST DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONALITY?
(Disclaimer: I think pimps are horrible people.)
"Like a Pimp" - David Banner
"Me? I'm a pimp/I ain't payin' for no sex/ I'd rather buy a car or a new Rolex"
My itunes knows me so well.

3. WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
"Birthday Dethday" - Dethklok
"RSVP PLEASE/For the DETH of thee/You have little time/And you're running out of life/Happy Birthday/You're gonna die"
Weird, but it makes sense. If he's dead, he can't get on my nerves. Mmm, necrophilia. It's what's for dinner. (Note: No, it's not.)

4. HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
"For Your Love" - Stevie Wonder
Umm ... "for your love, I would do anything." That's not true, actually, but I'm in a lying mood today.

5. WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE?
"Stress" - Organized Konfusion
To transfer my stress to others so that I can live comfortably and others can die of high blood pressure.

6. WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO?
"Break Down and Let it All Out" - Nina Simone
"I've held back my tears just as long as I could"
This works, as I'm ever on the verge of drop kicking the person nearest me. Watch out, random people, you just don't know when a Chuck Norris-styled roundhouse kick is in the cards.

7. WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
"Sky Blue You" - Peven Everett
"Please come/to my/cele-bration"
Apparently, they freakin' love me! However, they're smart and know I probably won't be there.

8.WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
"Just Like the First Time" - Freddie Jackson
Yep, I'm stuck in the past. Nostalgia tends to add that rosy tinge that makes the present so much less agreeable. Freddie Jackson has it right; the first time, back then, was better.

9. WHAT IS 2 + 2?
"Come Around" - M.I.A.
"Put a hump or two on your back just like that, oh girl you're on fire ... I've been overkilling them, I break backs" - Timbaland
(Best song on this album, by the way.)
According to this little ditty, it's the number of backs Timbo breaks. Good for him.

10. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?
"Luxury: Cococure (Mixzo Mix)" - Maxwell
Honestly, I can't make out what Maxwell is saying in this version, and, coincidentally, I don't know if I even have a best friend. See?!?! I got crazy connections.

11.WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
"Love the Way" - Murs & 9th Wonder
"Inside and outside, I know every part of you/Know where you going/Before you start to move"
Perfect song. No explanation needed.

12. WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
"I Just Called to Say" - Teddy Pendergrass
"You and I" - Stevie Wonder
I was gonna skip these songs, but since I got two schmaltzy love songs in a row, I figured it was a message. Even my ipod is bothering me about being single.

13. WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
Freestyle - Kane
"Non competible [hey, he said it!]/I'm not saying I'm the best/I'm just sayin' I'm f*ckin' incredible/And let's just make one more thing understood/If I FART on a record/That sh*t gon sound good"
That's it. I want to be that self assured. Long live the Kane.

14. WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
"Sportin' Life" - James Brown (Back Caesar Soundtrack)
It's an instrumental. so I guess I hear music? (Woodwinds, strings, and horns to be exact.)

15. WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
"I'mma Break it Down" - Eazy E
"Now look at me and not the poster/and you could see right off I got the most of/
the talent, experience or a trade/and complements for the rhyme thats made "
It just means that they know I'm the dopest. Yes, my parents think in late 80s/early 90s hip hop lingo.

16. WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
"Go to Hell" - Nina Simone
I can't make this up; it's what the shuffle chose. I suppose this'll be playing cuz I'll be perplexed as to how I got there.

17. What will they play at your funeral?
"Get Up" - Lost Boyz
Mr. Cheeks is just shoutin' out his boys and drinking in this one. I suppose the spectators at my funeral can give me a standing ovation or expect a creepy surprise from my corpse.

18. WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
"What a Job" - Devin the Dude f/ Snoop & Andre 3000
Those of you who know this song, the chorus. The chorus is my hobby, minus the music though.

19. WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
"Operation cb" - G. Rap & DJ Polo
This song is so profane and offensive, it's not even funny. Secretly, I'm the same way.

20. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
"Just One Star" - Antony & The Johnsons
I'm gonna kill MC for putting this creepy crap on my itunes. It's perfect cuz my friends are so freakin' pushy.

21. WHAT'S THE WORST THING THAT COULD HAPPEN?
"Been in Love" - Eric Roberson
This would be a bad situation. The worst thing, though, not so much. Maybe if I fell in love with a killer cyborg and we broke up?

22. HOW WILL YOU DIE?
"Lovers & Friends" Lil Jon, Ludacris, Usher
What a sucky pick. Maybe they'll all rise up and kill me Murder on the Orient Express style from all the ill treatment over the years.

23. WHAT IS THE ONE THING YOU REGRET?
"Drive" - The Cars
I didn't let anyone "drive" me "home." Quotation marks needed to signal the metaphor here, and no, it doesn't mean sex perverts.

24. WHAT MAKES YOU LAUGH?
"Southern Hospitality" - Ludacris
The chorus of this song is pretty funny.

25. WHAT MAKES YOU CRY?
"Sweet Nothings" - Roisin Murphy
Actually, they don't, but theoretically they should.

26. WILL YOU EVER GET MARRIED?
"Gas Drawls" - MF Doom
"The unemotional/call me anti-social/on the run off the gun/death tally commercial"
Does this sound like a person who should get married to you?

27. DOES ANYONE LIKE YOU?
"Work Song" - Nina Simone
"Working and working/But I still got so terribly far to go"
Honestly, I'm becoming a nicer person everyday. In no time people actually will.

28. IF YOU COULD GO BACK IN TIME, WHAT WOULD YOU CHANGE?
"You Make Me Wanna" - Usher
Yeah, his friend was cuter and more sane. Oh well, guess I dropped that ball.

29. WHAT HURTS RIGHT NOW?
"At the Helm" - Hieroglyphics (Del)
"Life is a blast when you know what you're doin'/Best to know what you're doin' 'fore your life get ruined/Life is a thrill when your skill is developed/If you ain't got a skill or trade, then shut the hell up"
Why didn't anyone tell me I could get paid to shop for a living? If only I'd made the right decisions then, I wouldn't be eating a big, fat regret sandwich with a side of why fries.

30. WHAT WILL YOU POST THIS AS?
"Blind Mary" - Gnarls Barkley
I don't even know what this question is asking, so I guess I'll be posing this as a completely clueless person.

You're The Gay

2008-12-06T17:42:00.007-06:00

Makes little sense, but follow me. Let's pretend that you have two pretty successful movies under your belt, what appears to be a decent budget, and Jason Statham's ridiculously amazing body. Imagine, now, that you're making an action flick.

Please, for the love of the many gods, why would you write a screenplay where the "action" is of the 80's teen flick variety--steamy make outs in a car and some uninspired car chases? You're telling me that a frickin' fantastic premise (an explosive bracelet that detonates when one strays too far from a car) and an international back drop yields a mediocre action flick? No, this is unacceptable.

This photo doesn't even come close to showing
how cut Statham was in the movie.
If only for the love of lechery, go see The Transporter 3.

Let me return to how insanely serious Jason Statham's retardedly delectable body was. Dude put in some serious work training for this film, and there was hardly a reason for him to display his handiwork. All these things working in your favor and the only memorable portion of the movie is the sidekick chick's accusation that "[Statham's] the gay"? I simply don't get it.

Nevertheless, I was never not entertained. I kept watching and wasn't bored. I'm just disappointed that a wonderful franchise of The Transporter's ilk ends (?) on such a non committal note.

C-